Take the plunge, get hitched, the I do’s, matrimony . . . however you phrase it, it all means marriage- the ’til death do us part’ bit. I mean, they’re in your vows homie, the F word, it’s a forever kinda handshake. And I feel like a lot of people only prepare for how exciting the wedding day will be, the dress, the people, the stress of it all, when they should really be preparing for the day AFTER the wedding. And the day after that and the year after that, until your 50th wedding anniversary has passed and you say, “you’re my forever”.
Don’t get me wrong, the wedding day, all the planning, it’s all truly beautiful and I’m trying to be as present as I can be leading up to our big day. I don’t want to be so shwasted that I remember nothing past getting my dress bustled, or that we moved SO fast that I can’t remember who I said hi to and who I still needed to hug. I worry that we’ll get separated through all of the commotion that Joe and I don’t get to enjoy our day TOGETHER. All that noise fills my head at night when I’m trying to figure out where we’re gonna honey moon and if the team at the venue will put all of the tables out correctly. Really though, that’s the lil stuff, the stuff people won’t remember at all.
They’re gonna remember the look your fiance had in his or her eyes when they saw you for the first time, they’ll remember the good food, the yummy drinks, and the dancing! So I’m trying to focus more on the memory making parts and how to live happily ever after but dammit it’s hard!
Joe and I have been together for 7 years so marriage was easy for us, we already knew we loved one another so the matrimonial part of it was a no brainer. But even for us lucky in love veterans, the F word is still scary. There’s something to be said about dating forever and never committing through marriage. I say ‘through marriage’ because there’s nothing wrong with committing yourself to your relationship without the marriage part, but there’s still something to be said about it.
For us it was the team part. It’s building a life with your best friend, no backing out or running away when shit gets tough. It’s really sticking it out and loving them through both their best and worst times, and always coming back to what’s real. That’s what the difference is for us and for everyone it’s different. No judgements at all but I’ll still tell you here, saying forever is some scary shit. But I’ll also tell you here, even though it’s scary it’s even more exciting. Exciting that we’ll forever have one another to laugh with, bounce ideas off of, adventure with, build a family with, and live this crazy life together with. That’s pretty damn comforting if you ask me.
The biggest thing that scares me is that I’ll fail some how and I know that’s ridiculous. How can I fail at something that’s already a success. Yes, that’s what I keep telling my brain. When we dated we could always leave, easily – one foot out the door and just break up. Now we’re taking a no backsies approach and I’m pretty freaking excited about it. (but it’s still a lil bit scary)
How do you feel about marriage? What’s your biggest fear when it comes to making a commitment?
PS we’re 54 days and counting!