Corrine’s Side Of Things

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Do you have many memories as a child in regards to struggle?
Yes. Looking back, I realize we did struggle. However, at the time I was none the wiser. I reflect now and understand that my mom was a single parent working to make ends meet on her own. I had no concept of that at the time. I was still in elementary school, so I was oblivious to any sort of financial struggle. Yes, we did live in an apartment with minimal furniture for awhile (think, mattress on the floor and tv with no stand, lol) but in my mind, I was living it up. After all, I had a warm place to sleep, a full tummy and my beloved collection of cd’s and books, lol. My mom never gave me any indication that she was struggling. I got a $100 shopping spree at target for my birthday one year, which is super rad to receive at any age, really. I’d still be stoked if I got that today, like yes please?! But I think that’s just the kind of kid I was. I didn’t have much to compare my living situation to and I wasn’t giving too much thought to anything besides my latest crushes and friends at school. In retrospect I understand now.From your perspective how were those struggles defined and how do you think it affected your relationship with your mom?
I was so young, I didn’t know what to do besides go with the flow. We were both just coping and being glad that we weren’t homeless. It did draw us closer together because we spent a lot of our time together. I also think I sensed the stress my mom was under, not to the fullest extent obviously, but I understood. Being so young and placed in that situation is confusing, because I found myself attempting to overcompensate to ensure my mom’s happiness and be as little of a problem as possible for her. It’s a personality trait I’ve carried with me, but it’s not always a good thing. So I’m currently trying to unlearn it.What did you think about Joe when you first met him?
I was 12, I didn’t think much besides, “wow, what a nice guy.”

Do you think dynamics have changed since Joe and your mom got married? How so?
I think the dynamics have changed more so within their relationship as a couple and how they tackle issues together. I do however feel closer to Joe and he makes it a point to let me know that I can count on him for whatever, always. He lets me know I’m loved and supported and can go to him for anything. That’s something that has shifted after they got married, whereas before he was a little bit more distant, haha. I don’t blame him, it was probs v confusing.

Did you have any fears in your mom remarrying? Did you think you’d have less time with her?
No, not at all actually. The thought never even crossed my mind and I didn’t expect much to change. I never worried because their relationship never gave me a reason to think we’d spend less time together.

What’s some advice you’d give a single parent about parenting that you think you’ve learned that’s helped you and your mom stay close through life’s ups and downs?
I think being close with your parent(s) stems from your bond with them. My mom and I have always been close because that’s just who my mom is and how she taught me to be! She’s open minded, fearlessly accepting and always wants to hear about my perspectives, opinions and experiences in life, that goes for Joe too. I’m so lucky to have parents who allow me to express myself freely, and own my feelings and beliefs as an individual. I think one of the worst things you can do as a parent is to not let your kid(s) be genuinely themselves in their identity and interests.  I am who I am and accept myself and others because my mom never passed judgement onto me when I wanted to listen to different types of music or express an interest in conventionally strange topics. I think the best thing you can teach anyone whether you’re parenting or not is to practice compassion, with an openness to understand the world and the different experiences you can have within it. My mom never limited me to who I could be or the experiences I could have, and I am so grateful that she helped shape me into the dynamic person that I am today.

It makes me so happy to share answers to questions like this from Corrine. It’s so special to hear her side of things on some topics, thank you so much for sending in your questions and we look forward to doing this more often with you this year <3

What other things should we talk about, what you like to know? What are some questions you have for us individually or as a family? Please and thank you xoxo

 

 

 

 

 

PREGNANT AT 16

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I was 16 and Pregnant. I have always been very guarded with what I share with the world and what I keep private for our little family but its time to tell some of my story. It’s a fine line to walk when you’re an online personality and you’re so open about your life. People almost expect you to divulge information that you wouldn’t otherwise share unless you knew them personally, but that just goes to show how much we openly share with our audiences. So I can’t be mad about it.

I’ve found though, that the things I like to share with people, help me to like those things too. Things that I dislike very much and that are hard to talk about like abusive relationships, toxic people, and what it was like being a teen mom. Not that being a teen  mom was something I disliked, but it was something that was really hard for me, it still is.

Corrine only a few months old here, and me- I'm just a chola in a rocking chair lol
Corrine only a few months old here, and me- I’m just a chola in a rocking chair lol

Some things you probably already know are that I’m a single mom, and that I was a teen mom. I had my daughter Corrine when I was 16 years old and she’s 18 now. She just started college this month, and last year she graduated from high school AND started her first job in the ‘real working world’. That was a lot for this mama bear over here to manage. Having my lil baby cub all out in the world being a responsible human and not being under my watchful and protective eye 24-7-365 is really hard.

Corrine and I are very close. We’re best friends, we grew up together, and I don’t know my life without her, I was 16. This isn’t me being dramatic like, ‘oh my baby is moving to another country woe is me’, but it is me sharing my anxiety over her moving out of the house. Even if that time isn’t in the near future. Like, what is my life without her *okay, THAT is me being dramatic*.

It’s crazy for me to reflect on her childhood because I was so young myself, I mean, how did they let me leave the hospital with that little baby?! It feels like a big huge blur to me. At that time I wasn’t doing it all on my own though, I had my family, I had her father’s family, and he and I were ok back then. Things change and we are where we are now. Perhaps one day I will talk about those things and what my life was like back then, but today I’ll talk about where I’m at today.

When I say that I don’t know what it’s like to be without Corrine I’m talking in daily life, in our day to day, routine life. Because in a way, we did grow up together … I’ve spent the last 18 years with her and it was far before I was even 18 myself. It was like an older sister raising a younger sister. We are so similar yet so different, but she amazes me every day. She sits on my lap at brunches, we hold hands in the street, she’s still my baby. Well now my baby is in college, yes a local one, but not for long. She wants to transfer to a University which won’t be any where near Los Angeles. *takes a moment to process that* So for me, I think to myself (and aloud, lets be real), “ok I can totally move to wherever she goes!” But how unrealistic is that?!

Corrine's HS graduation in June 2015
Corrine’s HS graduation in June 2015

Joe is incredible and he’s been so amazing, from day ONE. He met us when she was 12 and he’s really stepped in to be that positive, loving, father figure in her life. Oh, and he would totally pick up and move with me, we’re both nomads like that. But I can’t follow my child all around the world … at least I’m sure she wouldn’t want me to. I don’t want to become that over-bearing-stalker-status mom because no one likes the over-bearing-stalker-status mom.

November 3, 2015- Corrine's 18th birthday
November 3, 2015- Corrine’s 18th birthday

So therein lies my problem- I’m an overly attached parent who feels pretty freaking lonely at the thought of her daughter moving away. So what’s a girl to do? Well, I have to remember that just because I’m a mom doesn’t mean that that’s the only hat I wear. Though, it IS my most favorite hat and I’m really good at wearing the hat!!! *breathing* I have to remember that I’m a whole other person with hobbies and an identity all on my own completely separate from the ‘mom label’. Yes I’m a mom but I’m also Jess.

Jess is adventurous, loves to travel, and is getting married this year! *why am I referring to myself in the 3rd person, see I’m losing it already* I think I will get back to that part of myself this year, back to being creative on a different level, back to traveling a bit more, and back to being me without attaching myself to everything Corrine does. She needs space to grow and make her own mistakes, ugh can’t even believe I just said that.

So to all my parents out there, it isn’t healthy to identify ourselves only as parents and it isn’t healthy to just stalk our children. It’s a grey area for me about the stalking part though, not gonna lie, I’m obsessed with the kid! But as much as I’d like to be THAT mom, I won’t be that mom. I will however, be keeping busy doing other things. So keep busy! I have a wedding to plan this year, but bet your butt I’ll be stalking her every step of the way- dropping in to make her bed and cook her dinner! We also have to remember that it’s also a difficult transition for them too.

Our babies are forever our babies, and it’s ok to hold on to that. I know I will!

So tell me, if you’re a parent, are you going through this? Are your babies younger but this is something you think about? If you are going through this, help me out and give me some new hobbies to explore! If you aren’t a parent but your parents are going through this kind of thing, what as parents can we do to make the transition an easier one for you? And for us 😉 

My baby when she was 2 or 3 and again at 16
My baby when she was 2 or 3 and again at 16

 

I was 18 here and Corrine was 2. I got my first tattoo this day!
I was 18 here and Corrine was 2. I got my first tattoo this day!

 

This is us today, going on mother/daughter dates <3
This is us today, going on mother/daughter dates <3

Thank you for reading this post, it’s nice to open up about things that people assume you’re navigating just fine with on your own. I’m open to your suggestions so type away, and if you have a little one at home, hug them extra! PS I talk like she’s moving out tomorrow, but it is something that we discuss all of the time- her moving out and where she’ll go. So I know it’s just me freaking out, I’m prone to freak outs. I still have some time to baby her and make her breakfast in the mornings, and I still have time to be the crazy yet, “I’m a cool mom” mom. 

Here’s a video Corrine and I did in September and we’ll be recording a “How to survive college” video together soon! So stay tuned for that! I will be less overbearing with each passing post I promise!

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