Suck It Up Buttercup – A Lesson In Saving Your Damn Self

by with One Comment familyfitnesslifestylemental healthmom lifemotivationparenting

I grew up with three dads. It’s a beautiful story and I love all my dads, they each play a different role in my life. The daddio who raised me was my Drill Sergeant dad. He raised us on tough love and discipline, we were like little soldiers with chores and rules, and we lived on military bases for most of my life- you get the picture.

I didn’t know this until I was much older, but there were a lot of lessons there in the things he’d say to us. LOL the story of everyone’s childhood eh? So I looked up the literal definition of, “suck it up” because it was something I’d hear on the daily. It read: Accept a hardship

Suck it up Miss Priss he’d say

My dad used to tell my siblings and I to suck it up and I was referred to as, ‘Miss Priss’. I was girly and I loved raiding my mom’s makeup bag and wearing her jewelry. I’d prance around in her stilettos before I even knew how to walk properly in them, and my sister and I would have fashion shows- we’d even dress up my brother! I thought I was a Princess. Some things never change 😉

I’m the oldest of three and I’d think to myself, ‘why do I have to be tough like my brother and why do I have to be in charge of everyone?’. I’d get into a lot of trouble if my brother or sister got into trouble so we looked out for one another, we were the three best friends that anyone’s ever had. And I’ve taken that phrase and have said it out loud to my self, I’ve said it to my daughter, I’ve even said it to my puppers when they look at their kibble like ‘wtf’. I was taught to be tough so I thought everyone else should be too. It’s the way I parented.

to accept something is to give it consent

I don’t necessarily consent to anything in life that has sharpened my edges. But I’ve learned from all of them, I’ve let some of that shit go (literally balled those moments up in my fist and dropped em out my window, and onto the freeway), and moved on from anything that didn’t grow me. I used to resent it when I was told to suck it up, it made me feel like I wasn’t given permission to hurt or feel. But it wasn’t that at all, I just wasn’t given permission to whine about it. “Why waste your energy on something out of your control?”… ummm couldn’t my dad have just said that? I was and I am allowed to hurt, to feel, and to be emotional. I just won’t whine about it… for long any way.

We don’t have to accept anything. But we can use things that would usually bid resistance and instead apply them to be the driving force behind what keeps us moving. Think of it like this: we are in control . . . of nothing. How we react is everything and if we can just take all the bullshit, all the wrenches that get thrown in our (very overly controlled) plans, the interactions with mean people and all the suck-ass situations in life, and if we can just “suck it up” for a moment- I’ve realized that there’s more that’ll keep you going than there are things that’ll knock you down baby.

I’m grateful for never being saved

When no one comes to save you, you become fully aware that you don’t need anyone to save you. You understand clearly that you can save your gahtdamn self. And I did. And you will. And you have. Read that again <3

Can you think of moments in your life where you actually saved your own ass from something and thought, “f*ck, I’ve totally got this.”? Click through to see the sweetest best friends that anyone’s ever had <3

 

TOP 10 FREE THINGS TO DO WITH THE FAMILY!

by with One Comment adventureartDIYfamilymommy diariesparenting

I had a really nostalgic moment today, I was remembering that as a kid, each weekend my family and I would drive over to the local Blockbuster to hand-pick movies for the weekend. If you’re lucky enough to remember those good ol’ days than this will spark some fun memories, and if you were born after Blockbuster and MC Hammer pants, than just imagine this: My sister, brother, and I would walk up and down the aisles reading the synopsis on the backs of each VHS (yes VHS days) or DVD, beg our parents for popcorn and candy, and then we’d decide which movies we’d rent . . . as a family. I mean, it DID depend on if it were a $2.99 or $4.99 rental and IF you could have it for two days or FOUR, but it really was just some good ol’ clean family bonding times. Gahhh can we bring back some of that!

I thought today I’d share with you my favorite things to do with my Corriney and Joe, not to mention they’re practically free! So here are my top 10 free (almost) things to do with the family!

PAINT NIGHT – places like Color Me Mine can be a bit pricey especially if you have more than 1 child, so why not head over to Michael’s (or the DOLLAR STORE woot!) pick up some paints and craft paper and boom, paint night at home! Ahem for you parents out there, this is also a wonderful time to bust out a bottle of wine and crank up some paint night tunes!

PICNIC – best thing is eating your favorite food, outside, on a blanket, listening to the birds chirp. Picnics are easy I promise! For this particular day we went to Trader Joe’s and spent under $10 for a baguette and cheese, threw some fruit and drinks into our picnic basket and enjoyed our fancy shmancy picnic outside. Pro tip: when you’ve forgotten to pack cutlery just simply eat with your hands! Also, watermelon eaten with your hands will get sticky. Also also, farmers markets make for the best treats and have home made PIE (featured below is caramel pecan for your viewing pleasure)!




HIKE – get out and get movin’! Pointing things out in nature, identifying plants and animals while you’re with the kiddos, and then picnicking at the end of it . . . leads straight into my next favorite thing!

HIKE ANNND PICNIC – okay okay this is me cheating by combining my two faves but for realizies! If you hike to the top of that mountain or stroll to the other side of that park and then add in a PICNIC, it’s the best thing ever! Go ahead, enjoy that refreshing sticky watermelon with your hands!

BOARD GAMES – you guys my family and I used to play Dungeons And Dragons, like the board game version! Oh yes, we were supes popular in school LOL I legit think a wonderful team building activity is a board game or arts and crafts. You learn how to NOT be a sore loser *me* and how to appreciate a night in with board games and crafting. And remember when crafting, “God don’t make no junk”- 100 points to whomever can guess where that’s from! LOL

MUSEUMS – or art exhibits even! These are fun, free (mostly), AND you’ll all learn something along the way. Fun fact, I got really into the stars and constellations as a child and even wanted to be an astronaut. Visiting museums absolutely contributed to that dream! Can you tell from this list so far that I’m a HUGE nerd?! I love nerds <3

COOK TOGETHER – how fun to teach the kids (and your significant other) how to cook! The stirring, the spices, the creativity of it all, it’s one of my favorite things to do even when we do nothing but make mac n cheese together while noshing on snacks in the kitchen. It’s fun to ‘Pinterest pluck’ and just make a recipe you wouldn’t usually make, get cookin!

MOVIE NIGHT – reminiscent of Blockbuster night, movie night is the best way to snuggle up with your babes and make popcorn the old fashioned way! Toss all of the pillows and blankets onto the floor and just have one big ol’ slumber party – onesies highly encouraged!

TALENT SHOW – how fun right? Lets put on a talent show for one another! Sing, dance, put on a play, it’s just so fun to be silly and encouraging. Also, this is how those blooper reels from America’s Got Talent are created so lets also be real with one another mkayyy! 😉

GO FOR A DRIVE – alright, so this is gonna sound super cheesy but one of my favorite things in life ever, is to just pack up the car, my family, and puppy Luna and drive. Drive to another city, explore another town, anything, but ya gotta do it! The open road is full of new adventures … and new places to eat teehee 😀

 

I hope you enjoyed this list of fun and almost free things to do with your loved ones, you could even refer to this for fun date night ideas!

Are there any other things that you love to do that we can add to this list? Share! <333

 

 

 

 

 

HOW TO PARENT THE INTERNET

by with No Comment entertainmentmommy diariesparentingvideowedding planning

Whoa that’s a bit ambitious I know! But I like it! I have to say, with the ever latest and not-so-greatest entertainment buzz about the Biebers and Kardashians of the world, as a mom and fellow consumer of social media- I HATE everything about it. All the bub bub and mind numbing content that’s out there unfortunately I have to admit, that I get a kick out of sometimes! Guilty! Sometimes I just scroll through to scroll without thinking or drawing thoughts of anything in particular about … anything in particular. So I decided I would figure out how to parent the internet. Well try to anyway in that I’ll just talk about it. All of it. Social media, raising a teenage daughter in the age of photoshop and waist trainers, first time stories, and last time choices.

The series will live on my YouTube channel (pssst Subscribe if you haven’t already so you don’t miss out on any of my ramblings) and will kick to some content here for you on my blog. A place for me to detail some things in my life, lessons I’m teaching my daughter Corrine, and lessons I’m continuing to learn myself. I’ve kind of grown fond of the idea that I can alternate between trending entertainment news and my own real-life news that touches on things from my current wedding planning (or lack there of), to all the ‘things you’ll need to know about shaving your legs for the first time’. A conversation between the internets and I, youngster or fellow parent, about the woes and wins in life. And I’m SO DAMN EXCITED about this!

The first video in the series is here and it’s an introduction to my weird and awkward ways of bringing up things like sex and teen parenting, and how to talk about them in a normal-person type of way. Normal-person, to be used lightly.

To break up the awkwardness of each episode, whether it’s my eye roll at the Kardashians or my embarrassing story about stuffing my bra in HIGH SCHOOL, I will throw in my own relatable real life stories. And pictures.

So here are some baby pictures of my Corriney to start off the series- a chat about teen parenting and how babies are an amazing gift … when you’re ready for them <333

Corrine and I when she was only a few months old, and 16 year old Chola me! Oh that lipliner!

Corrine is 2 and I’m 18, the day I got my very first tattoo! One that my mom picked out and paid for … a rose with a butterfly on it of course. Hey, it was the 90’s!

A side by side of Corrine when she was a baby and when she was 16. Can we just hit reset?

Ahh my baby at her High School graduation! She was 17 … and I … well we won’t talk about that.

This doll face angel princess is 18 here, this is from her 18th birthday! A day of French food, old movies, and good food with people we love!

A collage of the good ol’ days! Elmo is still a thing!

Corrine was 2 and I was 18. I also wanted to be J-Lo here, and also, I still do!

And us today. My rock, my heart and soul, holding me up when I’m not holding her up. We lean most of the time <3 This was taken at Gracias Madre on my 35th birthday. Man, I feel so much more comfortable in my own skin and vibrant today then I ever did at 25 dammit! Something I’ll also talk about in this series.

So please share with me some topics you’d like to see me cover! Some days Corrine or Joe (or both) will be joining me for the conversation so give us some things to chat about with you!

PREGNANT AT 16

by with 10 Comments familyinspirationmommy diariesparenting

I was 16 and Pregnant. I have always been very guarded with what I share with the world and what I keep private for our little family but its time to tell some of my story. It’s a fine line to walk when you’re an online personality and you’re so open about your life. People almost expect you to divulge information that you wouldn’t otherwise share unless you knew them personally, but that just goes to show how much we openly share with our audiences. So I can’t be mad about it.

I’ve found though, that the things I like to share with people, help me to like those things too. Things that I dislike very much and that are hard to talk about like abusive relationships, toxic people, and what it was like being a teen mom. Not that being a teen  mom was something I disliked, but it was something that was really hard for me, it still is.

Corrine only a few months old here, and me- I'm just a chola in a rocking chair lol
Corrine only a few months old here, and me- I’m just a chola in a rocking chair lol

Some things you probably already know are that I’m a single mom, and that I was a teen mom. I had my daughter Corrine when I was 16 years old and she’s 18 now. She just started college this month, and last year she graduated from high school AND started her first job in the ‘real working world’. That was a lot for this mama bear over here to manage. Having my lil baby cub all out in the world being a responsible human and not being under my watchful and protective eye 24-7-365 is really hard.

Corrine and I are very close. We’re best friends, we grew up together, and I don’t know my life without her, I was 16. This isn’t me being dramatic like, ‘oh my baby is moving to another country woe is me’, but it is me sharing my anxiety over her moving out of the house. Even if that time isn’t in the near future. Like, what is my life without her *okay, THAT is me being dramatic*.

It’s crazy for me to reflect on her childhood because I was so young myself, I mean, how did they let me leave the hospital with that little baby?! It feels like a big huge blur to me. At that time I wasn’t doing it all on my own though, I had my family, I had her father’s family, and he and I were ok back then. Things change and we are where we are now. Perhaps one day I will talk about those things and what my life was like back then, but today I’ll talk about where I’m at today.

When I say that I don’t know what it’s like to be without Corrine I’m talking in daily life, in our day to day, routine life. Because in a way, we did grow up together … I’ve spent the last 18 years with her and it was far before I was even 18 myself. It was like an older sister raising a younger sister. We are so similar yet so different, but she amazes me every day. She sits on my lap at brunches, we hold hands in the street, she’s still my baby. Well now my baby is in college, yes a local one, but not for long. She wants to transfer to a University which won’t be any where near Los Angeles. *takes a moment to process that* So for me, I think to myself (and aloud, lets be real), “ok I can totally move to wherever she goes!” But how unrealistic is that?!

Corrine's HS graduation in June 2015
Corrine’s HS graduation in June 2015

Joe is incredible and he’s been so amazing, from day ONE. He met us when she was 12 and he’s really stepped in to be that positive, loving, father figure in her life. Oh, and he would totally pick up and move with me, we’re both nomads like that. But I can’t follow my child all around the world … at least I’m sure she wouldn’t want me to. I don’t want to become that over-bearing-stalker-status mom because no one likes the over-bearing-stalker-status mom.

November 3, 2015- Corrine's 18th birthday
November 3, 2015- Corrine’s 18th birthday

So therein lies my problem- I’m an overly attached parent who feels pretty freaking lonely at the thought of her daughter moving away. So what’s a girl to do? Well, I have to remember that just because I’m a mom doesn’t mean that that’s the only hat I wear. Though, it IS my most favorite hat and I’m really good at wearing the hat!!! *breathing* I have to remember that I’m a whole other person with hobbies and an identity all on my own completely separate from the ‘mom label’. Yes I’m a mom but I’m also Jess.

Jess is adventurous, loves to travel, and is getting married this year! *why am I referring to myself in the 3rd person, see I’m losing it already* I think I will get back to that part of myself this year, back to being creative on a different level, back to traveling a bit more, and back to being me without attaching myself to everything Corrine does. She needs space to grow and make her own mistakes, ugh can’t even believe I just said that.

So to all my parents out there, it isn’t healthy to identify ourselves only as parents and it isn’t healthy to just stalk our children. It’s a grey area for me about the stalking part though, not gonna lie, I’m obsessed with the kid! But as much as I’d like to be THAT mom, I won’t be that mom. I will however, be keeping busy doing other things. So keep busy! I have a wedding to plan this year, but bet your butt I’ll be stalking her every step of the way- dropping in to make her bed and cook her dinner! We also have to remember that it’s also a difficult transition for them too.

Our babies are forever our babies, and it’s ok to hold on to that. I know I will!

So tell me, if you’re a parent, are you going through this? Are your babies younger but this is something you think about? If you are going through this, help me out and give me some new hobbies to explore! If you aren’t a parent but your parents are going through this kind of thing, what as parents can we do to make the transition an easier one for you? And for us 😉 

My baby when she was 2 or 3 and again at 16
My baby when she was 2 or 3 and again at 16

 

I was 18 here and Corrine was 2. I got my first tattoo this day!
I was 18 here and Corrine was 2. I got my first tattoo this day!

 

This is us today, going on mother/daughter dates <3
This is us today, going on mother/daughter dates <3

Thank you for reading this post, it’s nice to open up about things that people assume you’re navigating just fine with on your own. I’m open to your suggestions so type away, and if you have a little one at home, hug them extra! PS I talk like she’s moving out tomorrow, but it is something that we discuss all of the time- her moving out and where she’ll go. So I know it’s just me freaking out, I’m prone to freak outs. I still have some time to baby her and make her breakfast in the mornings, and I still have time to be the crazy yet, “I’m a cool mom” mom. 

Here’s a video Corrine and I did in September and we’ll be recording a “How to survive college” video together soon! So stay tuned for that! I will be less overbearing with each passing post I promise!

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