Productivity vs Complexity

complexity is the enemy of execution – tony robbins

I was talking to a girlfriend of mine who needed a lil guidance in the productivity part of her life, and after our Zoom call I decided I really wanted to share with you what I shared with her.

Working for yourself is such a beautiful thing but it’s also a very difficult thing because a) you’re your own boss aka self motivation b) you must be relentless and fearless aka what even are days off and who doesn’t get a lil bit insecure at times and c) you’ve gotta map it all out aka be more organized than even I am comfortable with.

Let’s be real, I’m not especially organized, I’m also not great with being told what to do (even by my own self), and I struggle with creative blocks and time management just like most people. Let’s get through this list together, day by day and goal by goal.

Things that clutter my day & how I tackle them like a line backer

1. Social media– tricky tricky bc new media is a huge part of my job. The work around is that I block out times for this. I TRY not to look at my phone until after my workout each morning but some days just getcha! I do try to be really specific and intentional however. I post, let it go (it’s in the world now Jess let’s not overthink this), respond, engage, and get out. I get on with the day and save mindless scrolling for the end of the day bc I’m a lurker too

Hot Tip: try setting an alarm and after 20-30 mins close it out before you get sucked into the rabbit hole of bread faceplants and squishy sounds

2. Overthinking all that I need to do– we can get paralyzed by our task lists, the inaction caused by anxiety is real. Instead of overthinking, just GO. List your top 3 things the night before that you would feel productive af completing, even if you get nothing else done in the day. No negotiating with yourself, no excuses and I promise even if you just get that one thing crossed off, you’ll feel powered up to complete the rest

Hot Tip: Be Focused Timer & The 4 Hour Workweek

3. Working from bed and NOT getting my body moving right away. I’ve learned from this habit bc it doesn’t work for me. It works for some people, know what works for you. Listen to your body bc mental health is everything, so if you need a moment, take it. But if you don’t, then make it… the bed that is

Hot Tip: Productivity Planner baby!

I’ve learned that when starting anything- whether it’s a new career, pursuing a passion, or beginning again, there will always be resistance, there will always be a ‘better’ time, and life will always happen… just begin.

I hope some of my productivity tools help you and I’d love to know how you manage your time. What are some things you do each day to make sure you’re sticking to the path? Distractions are natural and I love wondering from the path too, just remember come back and keep trekking along <3

What My Past Relationships Has Taught Me

there’s a fine line between love and hate

It can be really difficult to look back on a relationship with fondness when not enough time has passed for healing or worse, when so much trauma took place within the relationship that you just block the whole thing out all together. I guess we can’t completely compartmentalize our pasts, though it’s definitely a coping mechanism of mine.

I’d like to believe that if you’ve ever loved someone that you’ll always love them in some way… there’s a fine line between love and hate. There’s also a fine line between loving some one and actually being in-love with them. The danger lies with the in-love bit, that’s the doing that we have to work at daily. I’ve been lucky to be in-love enough times to know what love, lust, infatuation, in-love, and ‘out of love’ feels like. I mean, haven’t we all been through the five stages of grief after a break up? Each love of mine has been a part of their own lifetime I swear and I’ve lived many lives. I’m so dramatic.

I wish someone had told me when I was younger that I didn’t know anything about anything. I kind of just went into life thinking I knew everything about everything. Here I am 39, in what I feel in my soul to be the final love story of my life, and there’s a few things I would’ve told younger me.

+ you have to make yourself happy. It’s too much responsibility for one person to make both people in any relationship happy. And also exhausting

+ figure out what your passions are and pursue them at all costs. What keeps someone interested in you is that you have your own shit going on. They found you interesting for a reason, don’t let that person become your reason and then you have nothing left of yourself

+ no one wants to be with someone that tells them they’re incomplete without em. Sure, we all did that in our first relationship(s). When you’re young you get so drunk in love which is such a beautiful thing that I hope never changes, but when you’re not emotionally mature enough or your partner is actually emotionally unavailable, that drunk in-love can turn into ‘too drunk’ toxicity. Instead, complete yourself, save yo self, and compliment your relationship with your own sparkle bc baby you’re sparkly af

+ sometimes things have to fall apart so that everything else can fall together. And we don’t have to know why, we just have to trust that there’s a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Aka wtf is the lesson? Sometimes my lesson was, “great job babe but your choice was legit poor, better luck next time, now let’s get our shit together c’mon girl”

+ breakups suck. Divorce sucks even worse. Walking through Sucksville sucks! But you’ve gotta put one foot in front of the other, walk (or sprint) through it, feel it, heal it, and learn from it. **this took me a long time aka EVERY time to learn this repetitive lesson*

If you’re going through Sucksville, let it suck. Here’s some lyrics from a song I love, “Don’t Give Up on Love” by Kygo and Sam Tinnesz for my younger self and for you if you need it. I got you:

When your heart just shatters, too many pieces to pick it up
You keep finding a way, just to live alone
Nothing to say, staring at your phone
And your life is going numb
Don’t give up on love when it doesn’t work out the first time
Close your eyes and trust that you gotta get low to get high
The world’s full of second chances, you gotta keep on dancing
Don’t give up on love <3

So what are some things you would tell your younger self? Tell me some things you’ve learned from your past relationships 😉

Hoppin’ On The Hype Beast

that slippery slope between trendy and tragic

You know the one. The poppin’ hype beast that bops around trying to lure you into its current with promises of virality and relevancy … enter every Instagram and internet meme of 2020. Oh and the above photo of Acey and I paying homage to Megan Thee Stallion, “we can’t talk right now, we’re doing hot girl shit”.

My job as an over-sharer means I get to share my experiences, my advice and my choices with you even if you don’t want to hear about it and I love my job. Something I’ve always struggled with though is my desire for authenticity versus the world’s desire for accessibility. Full transparency, I’m not all sunshine and rainbows all the time, I have crummy days. I’m not all buttoned up and proper all the time, I love lounge wear and swear words (I actually accidentally dropped the F bomb in a Zoom meeting and turned bright red… to my relief the Producer was chill). I’m not perfect, sheesh I hope no one actually thinks that of anyone. So I guess I should tell you this now… I. am. but. merely. a. human. bean. <— this is not a typo. I’m a bean.

So my thing is, trendy or not, if it doesn’t work for me than I can’t work for it. Not the brand, not the hype, none of it. That’s why I’m so passionate about the brands that I work with, because they choose me and I choose them right back. Let’s be real though, in the beginning I said yes to ALL the things because you’ve gotta start somewhere. Here are some of the trends we saw in 2020 and how I tried to make them relevant to my life. lolz…

With a perpetually changing algorithm and every platform launching a ‘Stories’ feature, you can imagine how frustrating it could be for your job to ‘highlight’ trends when some of them feel quite tragic. I actually deep dive into this topic all about IG here… be ready for my Ted talk. The greatest thing though is that we can choose to participate or stand by, and the magical thing is that we’ll all do it so differently that there’s room for everyone. I choose collaboration over competition, highlighting my friends, brands I support, and focusing on discoverability and creativity.

authenticity vs accessibility

2020 made us feel a lot of things. We had some very mooky days where we didn’t know our butts from our brains or what day it was. I mean, we didn’t put on pants for almost a year. But some things that I really loved seeing and participating in was community and connection. A bright spot in all of it was just that. And the activism and solidarity from last year, I’m proud of us for being real human beans to one another and I hope this year brings more of that.

My advise is that we hop on the hype beast when it makes sense and don’t feel pressure to when it doesn’t. WAP and Animal Crossing just didn’t make sense to my life so I couldn’t talk ’em… hbu?

So tell me, what do you want to create and what inspired you from 2020’s Pandora’s box of ‘most popular trends’?

The Re-Introduction

we only let people see what we want them to see

Happy 2021 to you! Since we’re in a new year and a lot has changed, I thought I’d re-introduce myself. I’ll share some fun facts about me and maybe some things you didn’t know and I’d love for you to share some fun facts about you and how we know each other?

New media can be tricky. People think they know you by a flash of your smile or the furrow of your brow, but really we only let people see what we want them to see. If we show them that we’re crazy, they think we’re crazy. If we show them that we’re buttoned up with not a worry in the world, that’s exactly what they think. Well this year I’d like to be more transparent and talk about some things we haven’t talked about in depth before. But I’ll save that deep dive for next time, for now let’s have some fun.

  • <from the beginning> I’m the eldest of 3, I have a younger brother and sister. I’m an 80’s baby and a 90’s kid. When I went to middle school and high school artists like MC Hammer, Vanilla Ice, Mariah Carey, Whitney Houston, and every girl band and boy band you can imagine were making music videos. Those were the days of MTV, Kids Incorporated, Fraggle Rock, The Smurfs, and 80’s teenage movies. They sure don’t make ’em the way they used to that’s for damn sure
  • <the real stuff> I was a teen mom. At 16 I had my daughter Corrine who is now 23 and thriving. We broke the statistic that says teen parents have children who then become teen parents themselves… buhbyyyeeee! I’m so proud to call her my daughter and even prouder of the independent woman she’s grown into. As for me, I’m still young at heart and I hope that never changes
  • <the not so glamorous real stuff> I got kicked out at 16, re-entered my home just before C was born, got married at 18, divorced at 22, went through an intense almost 6 year custody battle with no lawyer (this was one of the hardest moments of my life), slept in my car with my baby, couch surfed with people who I thought were my friends who used me and stole my furniture (can you tell I’m still not over this?), had my face bruised up by exes and my spirit broken down by many, had my confidence crushed like most people in life, and some how by the grace of God and that lil face looking to ME for how to cope in life … I kept my shit together long enough to get through each day. Honestly, I think I blacked out for like 18 years
  • <the dramatic af love life> I don’t regret any part of my life or any decision I made about love, even if it left me feeling like love was only a thing for romantic novels. My first husband gave me my daughter and I regret nothing. My first girlfriend outside of adolescence gave me a kind of love I’d never experienced. There were other boyfriends and girlfriends before my second husband. He showed me that love doesn’t have to be toxic or volatile and that calmness in a relationship is vital. My current relationship is such a magical mixture of love, passion, presence, calmness, craziness, and stability. I regret nothing
  • <just for funs> I have the greatest friends in all the world. I love tequila. Royal blue is my favorite color. Black, grey, and white make up 99.99% of my closet. I’m a sucker for sweets. I’m selfish. I love being a mom. I love LOVE. I love country music. I love being hyper feminine. I’m addicted to skin care and fragrances. I could eat rice every day of my life and feel complete. I’m Chamorro (my mom was born and raised in Saipan and we have family in Guam. Hafa Adai!) and Irish (my dad has blue eyes and dark hair with the fairest skin). I’m 39 and proud of that more than I was to be 29 … woof what 10 years can teach you. I like try to spend my money on experiences and not fancy hand bags though I really really love those too! I didn’t go to college until I was 26. I love therapy and I believe that mental health is everything. I’m an Aries. I’ve never had any face work done (though that’s not to say it won’t be in my future, I am 39) and my huge knockers are real too… real expensive. I’ll stop there for now

I’m an open book! Email me, DM me, find me and ask me… <3

Tell me some fun facts about you and how you found me. I love knowing where you’re fun and what makes you tick, talk to me.

It’s A Heluva Holiday To Give Back

to dip or double dip, that is the question

This post was sponsored by Heluva Good! Dip as part of an Influencer Activation, like always, all opinions expressed in my post are my own.

So chips and dips… I will use any portal necessary to get the biggest bite from my dip, anyone else with me on this???

I’m proud of my snacking skills, my hosting abilities, and how HUMBLE I sound right now haha I’m also really passionate about working with companies that are philanthropic. You’ve seen me talk about this during the release of my Gift Guides this month so you’ll understand why I’m proud to have teamed up with Heluva Good! Dips and Walmart today!

I love that we’re helping to raise awareness about 1) their delicious dips and 2) ’tis the season of giving and Heluva Good! Dip will be donating a portion of sales to Toys for Tots that will run through the remainder of the year. I mean, talk about my two favorite things teaming up … spreading dips and spreading joy.

Dips make for delicious snacks perfect for anytime aka when everyone is waiting for dinner to be made this holiday season, just set out some chips (and some pita, oh and some crackers too) and Heluva Good! Dips for them. This is a for sure crowd pleaser every time!

Easy snacking, a time to gather around the table and catch up with friends and family, chips and dip are nostalgic for me. During this time of year when we can’t be with our families due to the pandemic, it’s so wonderful to have some tradition here at home. My mom always had her favorites in the fridge and can you guess what it was? French Onion! That’s my go-to flavor as well, it’s so creamy and SO yummy.

If you’re passionate about benefitting great causes and supporting brands that are like minded, please join me in purchasing your Heluva Good! Dip at Walmart or Walmart.com (pssst available for pick up or Walmart grocery delivery) and help donate to Toys for Tots this month. How convenient and wonderful it is to do some good, simply by purchasing something your family will enjoy while helping to make someone else’s holiday just as wonderful.

It’s a Heluva Holiday to give back … see what I did there? 😉

Happy holidays from me and mine to you and yours <3

Gift Guide – For The Littles

for the munchkins and anyone who is young at heart

Even though I created this gift guide specifically for the littles in our lives, I think anyone on your list would love to receive them because they’re all so fun! Let me explain.

Food Between Friends Cookbook – best friends Julie and Jesse (Julie is my friend and her stories will make you want to cook all the things!) whip together their favorite recipes, putting their own Southern and Southwestern spins on them in this cookbook perfect for your family! Teach ’em how to cook young, let them help you put the ingredients together, and share time in the kitchen with them … this is still one of my favorite things to do with Corrine. Available now for pre-order, March 9th is the day! I’m including it now because this kind of gift is perfect for any time of year

Annoying Orange plush toys – pssst, did you know that yours truly is the voice of Lil Sis, Annoying Orange’s little sister?! I represent other characters in the YouTube series and have been friends with the creators for over 10 years now. I’m so proud to include them in my gift guide and what they’ve accomplished, and I know your little (or your friends) would be proud to have a plush toy like this around. Squishiesss are all the rage

Valerie Confections – the most decadent of treats, this local treasure was founded by chocolatier Valerie Gordon and her partner Stan Weightman Jr. A perfect gift for the littles under the tree this year and anyone who loves a sweet treat! She’s also offering holiday menus if you live in the Los Angeles area, check it out

Paper Please stationary and gifts – founded by my friends Christine & Friedia, this local stationary shop has all of your paper needs and adorable gifts to include this holiday season. I especially love their puzzles, books, and sticker sets that you can decorate together with your little ones. Get artsy!

This Saves Lives treats – besides being delicious and nutritious, this bar saves lives. With every purchase from This Saves Lives you send a packet of life-saving food to a child in need, providing a packet of powerful peanut paste full of vitamins and nutrients specifically made to treat severe acute malnutrition. I really wanted to include this philanthropic company because … what a wonderful way to get your kiddos to eat well than to present it to them in this most beautiful packaging! I’ve had almost every one of their snack bars and I’m here to tell you that when you purchase a box for the littles, purchase a box for yourself too

And there you have it! The last of my gift guides this holiday season, I have one more treat for you coming up this Friday. I really wanted to showcase my friend’s companies, highlight local businesses to support, and encourage everyone to shop small when you can. Me love you.

Will this be for him, for her, for the littles, or for the ones that have it all?

Gift Guide – For The One Who Has It All

for anyone who has everything and wants nothing

But what about that person on your list who has it all and you really want to get them something special? Well these five gift ideas are sure to dazzle them … here’s the gifts that keep on giving.

TOPTOPE – the ‘best thing since the hat box’ invented by my super genius friend Lindsay Albanese! This is a hat clip but beyond your wildest dreams of what a ‘hat clip’ could look like. It’s classic and chic, the styles are timeless and versatile (perfect for her or him!), and the magnet will hold that hat in place no matter the travel, gust of wind, or stranger that bumps into you unexpectedly. TOPTOTE is a part of Lindsay’s “Serviceable Style™ collection of fashion accessories and products designed to bring ease and order into your life” and I’m here for vouch for it! Attach it to your luggage, your bag, your belt loop… endless possibilities and if you check out her site you’ll see all of the other travel accessories you didn’t even know you needed and now won’t be able to live without! Guaranteed that person on your list doesn’t have anything like this

Ayara Thai Pad Thai Kit & Cooking Lessons – family owned and operated right here in the heart of L.A., you’ll need to look no further for the best Thai in town! My wonderful friends Vanda and Michael ensure that your experience feels like home. With traditional recipes passed down from family member to family member, you too can be a part of the family by purchasing their Pad Thai Kit (and other cooking kits), virtual cooking lessons, and special sauces to make in the comfort of your own home. What a wonderful gift this would be to receive for anyone who has everything already. The gift of food haha. Food is family and family is love <3

Hedley & Bennett Gift Bundles – another local company here in Los Angeles (what can I say, I love supporting my friends) founded by my girl Ellen Bennett, her aprons are absolutely stunning and it’s no wonder they’re wildly popular! When the world shut down because of Covid, H&B pivoted to quickly create face masks for front line service members and our community. For the one who has it all, gift them a bundle that they can grill, cook, and bake with. The cutest part is the message on the inside of the box, “put this on and make something”…. deal!

The McBride Sisters Wine Shop – I could need nothing in the entire world and if you gifted me a membership to this wine club, it’d be the gift of the season! Something for everyone, there’s a tasting selection for anyone who love reds, blends, rieslings, and bubbles. One for them, two for you, go go go

OMA The Label Jewelry – OMA’s pieces are exquisite and perfect for every day. Created by Neumi Anekhe, a New York based fashion stylist, her mission is to create quality pieces at affordable prices and I’m here for it. Whoever you gift these dainty pieces to, they will feel empowered and confident.

The gifts that continue to give the whole year through, I hope you loved this gift guide as much as I did. Honestly, if I were given any one of these, I’d be over the moon.

One for them, two for you, which will you be gifting them and you? haha xoxo

Gift Guide – For Him

for him, for her – this is for anyone who loves androgyny

Keeping with the theme of supporting local and shopping small, I want to highlight some of my favorite items to gift that special fella in your life. These brands have inspired me to lean into my own androgynous side, they’re perfect for a sexy wind down, a lil spark up, and the all around chill-mode time.

Custom woodwork from my friend Aaron – hand crafted, pure art, these custom designs by my friend A Massey Design are one of a kind! I just ordered a personalized cutting board from him and this Connect Four game caught my eye when I was on his Etsy! It’s made of Walnut and brass and the game tokens are made of Zebrawood. Best part, you can customize anything in his shop with your (or your friend’s) name or logo! Gogogo

DoubleBlind Magazine – maybe they’re a reader! I love a good reader ha! This is such a good read, blending spirit and science, DoubleBlind prints biannually and should be a staple on everyone’s coffee table <3

The Sexy Smoker (of plant powered offerings…) – these perfectly pre-rolled Barbari CBD spliffs are made with CBD-rich hemp flower Suver Haze. They’re citrusy and reel in the focus while bumpin’ up the productivity… or just bumpin’ 😉

Concrete Cat Incense Bowl + Ashtray – the perfect spot to rest their Barbari spliffs or favorite incense, this ashtray bowl is handmade (so every piece is unique) and made of concrete. So dreamy!

Give them a spa day! – this cushy robe is everything! It’s luxurious and soft and will make you want to snuggle them all day. Pssst: this is a hard gift to try and not keep for yourself

Talk about Kush(y) – I swear I’m like, so good with the puns. This Kush candle from The Flower Pot is hand poured in L.A. and burns the scent of florals and brushed suede. Everything from Boy Smells is divine, but this cannabis candle is one of my favorites from their line and I know who ever you gift it to will love it just as much as I do

BONUS! Use code FLOWERPOTFRIDAYS for 15% off your cart total for anything purchased from The Flower Pot, let’s get to shoppin’!

Can you believe there are only 21 sleeps left until Christmas?

Gift Guide – For The Fitness Lover

let’s eat the good stuff and push through the rough stuff

Setting aside time to create movement for myself isn’t always easy. Mom guilt is a real thing and even though my baby girl is a grown woman, it doesn’t mean that I don’t feel guilty, even now when I could legit retire from parenting ha!

Movement to me is my mental health. Making time for myself isn’t selfish (and f*ck it if it is), it makes me a better mom, a better girlfriend, and a better human. It opens up space in my mind to take on the day and I’m thankful for an able body that allows me to move through the muck of it all.

Connecting to our community and coaching you is a purpose of mine and giving you my energy in a place where we can laugh and sweat together (sup Zoom) is my passion. I’d love for us to not get used to the loss of human connection that this year has brought on. Let’s bring it back and eat the good stuff and push through the rough stuff. So if you’d like to move through it with us, I’ve got you.

Here are my picks for you and for the fitness lovers in your life <3

  • Lacey’s Holiday Deals + Steals – whether it be a package of Zoom classes to work out with us, your 7 day meal plan, the virtual platform, or Lacey’s Stone Tone Core program it’s all here! I hope to see you at least 3x a week to move it out and to keep it movin’!
  • Turmeric Salve – we work out at least 3 days a week and in Zoom camps we work out 5 days a week… this salve has saved my muscles. I do a bath bomb or bath soak from The Flower Pot, pop out of the bath and rub on some salve and thennn…
  • Stress Finesse – to finesse my stress I love all of TFP tinctures and this one does what it says and says what it does. Zen through plant power, I love to drop this in mid-day, light a candle, and child’s pose
  • Super Beauty Vitamins – collagen … free radicals … oxidative damage – oh my! These lil beauty babies are vitamins that protect against oxidative damage, promote collagen production, and neutralize free radicals. I keep them by my bed side table so I don’t forget to take them, rotating through these and my Ritual vitamins which you’ve heard me talk about before
  • CBD Pre-Rolled Spliffs – the word spliff is just fun to say, try it aloud. These are Barbari Airplane Mode CBD spliffs! They’re pre-rolled relaxation with CBD-rich hemp flower so you can toke it on up and relax it on down. I feel very speak easy when I smoke these chillin’ just in my robe (BONUS: enter FLOWERPOTFRIDAYS at checkout for 15% off your TFP cart!)
  • FRE Skincare – this skincare line was specifically designed for skin that sweats. I mean, how perfect is that so we don’t burn our eyes out when we’re sweating our faces off. Complete with a face wash, serum, hydrating SPF, and detox mask – they’re having a sale right now and it comes with a traveling bag so it’s perfect for under the tree or as a stocking stuffer!

So there you have it ya cool cats and kittens! My personal fitness faves, from me to you, from you to yourself, or from you to a loved one … because nothing says “I love you” like the gift of health (mental health, heart health, and physical health) <3

Tell me where you are in your shopping to do’s … 1) are you just getting started 2) did you start in February bc you’re annoying like that jkjkjkjkjk or 3) do you wait until the night before and scramble to wrap something?