A love letter to my body

by with No Comment personal

What I need right now is a moment to be soft to myself, an act of self-preservation and self-care. What I need right now is to write a lil love letter to myself.

Dear body, 

Have I told you lately that I love you? I’m actually singing this to you in my best Rod Stewart voice because I know it took almost my entire adult life to finally tell you that I love you back.

and i said to my body. softly. ‘i want to be your friend.’ it took a long breath. and replied ‘i have been waiting my whole life for this. ― Nayyirah Waheed

I actually read this quote on Instagram and started crying and Corrine looked at me like I’d fallen off my rocker. I don’t know why it took me so long to be kinder to you. Actually, yes I do. 

———–

I lived my teen years in the 90’s (sup 80’s babies) and we had Naomi Campbell, Kate Moss, Cindy Crawford and others all over the media and they were all VERY beautiful… and VERY thin. I remember going to a modeling school in San Francisco when I was fourteen and we were told 1) that must we shave our legs from our ankles to our hips and 2) we were ‘supposed’ to have three triangles on our legs if we wanted to pursue anything other than print work. 

A triangle to shape your thighs, a triangle to shape your knees, and a triangle to shape your calves. We all know what a triangle looks like so it seemed very odd to tell young adolescents that any part of their body look like a geometric shape. Even our heads aren’t perfectly circular! And by the way, a triangle seems inaccurate, did they mean an upside down triangle? Even so, I can’t compute. And while we’re here, I’m 4’10 and a half which means I was not pursuing anything other than print work anyway. 

I want to also note that the desired waist measurement during my time at that school was 23 inches. TWENTY THREE. Ummm wuuut?! One, I haven’t had a thigh gap since I was four years old so there goes the triangle equation and two, the only 23 I can comprehend as being personally relatable to me is- that one time in life when I was 23 years old. Oh and this year on November 3rd, my daughter will turn 23. P.S. this is not me shaming those who have 23 inch waists, this is me saying you should never tell an insecure person (esp an insecure young person) that they must be a certain size to qualify.

So dear body of mine, I do understand why I wasn’t so nice to you. You were trying to protect me by holding onto vital fat so that I could grow, carry life, support my organs, and be healthy. It’s not your fault that I didn’t see girls with my body type represented on television until Jennifer Lopez on, In Living Color as a “Fly Girl”. P.S. do you remember that show? Helllloooo I’ve been trying to build a booty ever since. I know voluptuous and strong women were represented before 1990 but that’s the first time I can remember seeing a body that I related to. 

The thing is, I’m Islander and that means I’m genetically engineered to climb coconut trees, run from brown tree snakes in Saipan (I hail from this island and you should Google the snake part, it’s gnarly), hula dance for hours, and build a bajillion island babies.. oh and the huts for them too. There is and always will be very soft yet strong (and some not so strong tbh) bits on my body. My arms and my legs have been described by ‘societal beauty standards’ to be “thick”. Who came up with that by the way. I mean, I’ll take it- thick is sturdy, thick is something to hold onto, and thick is reliable… if I take my phone into the bathroom with me and then I accidentally drop my phone… bet your ass my thick thighs will save the day. So I’ll try this again. 

———–

Dear body, I love you. I will tell you and show you more often how much I appreciate you. I am curvy, I am strong, I am fast, I am sturdy, I have stamina, and I have stretch marks. I love my body. All of it. Don’t even get me started on all the other things I love about myself. I’d actually love to write another love letter to the rest of my self. Like my brain.. whew she’s so big and brainy! 

Please tell me something about yourself that you love. If you haven’t heard it lately, you are okay and everything will be okay <333

Self Care Every Day

Self Care Every Day

by with No Comment makeupmommy diarieswellness

Self care Sunday is a thing so says Instagram but also so says my soul. Except I think we should practice a lil self care every day don’t you?

It’s such a necessary practice to partake in to keep your skin glowy and your soul shiny. But the reality is that something I’ve experienced, is that mom guilt is real. Human guilt is real. That feeling like we don’t have time or that we don’t deserve a moment to reset and slow down and breath. And it’s complete BS.

Since when aren’t we allowed to take time out for ourselves to be still, can we change that? I want us to do something together, a lil Self Care Sunday or Monday or Tuesday or any or ALL days of the week. And lets share what we’re doing,  and it can be any time where you sit alone, or stretch to candle light, or bathe with a glass of wine, or eat a treat in your closet alone while the rest of the world outside loses their shit. Anything that settles your mind and relaxes your body.

I’ll start here with my self care Sunday routine that I did this morning over on my Instagram.

Madewell heart bandana – holds back all the hairs

Glossier Moon Mask – ultra hydrating, goes on like buttah, skin feels like silk after

Hempz exfoliating lip gloss – your lips have never known this kind of love

Sustainable cotton rounds – do good by your skin and by the Earth

Laneige lip mask – the mostest luscious evaaar

Osea Sea Vitamin Boost – so refreshing, a hydrating vitamin boost

 

So tell me bb, do you practice self lovin? Which day? Every day I hope but starting with one thing, one day a week, is a wonderful start <333

 

 

 

 

 

 

State Of Mind Baby, Lets Chat Confidence

by with No Comment wellness

Oh man, starting today off with a big question for myself and feeling cheesy about it … insert my favorite emoji here which is the cute lil monkey covering it’s face … it me! Confidence, what is it to me, and is it on sale at Trader Joe’s. Without being too woo woo here, defining confidence and then trying to tap into that and emit it in a way that is so bright and sparkly that no one can take it away, well that’s been a thing.

I think that confidence is a state of mind and I think people like to box me in. They put me into this box of what they think they know I am and then they’re surprised when I’m not that. Am I the only one, or do you think that’s true of you where people assume you’re one thing but really you’re many things? I can see sometimes that people think I’m bright and bubbly all the time, I mean I try to be, I love being a bright ass Lite-Brite (remember those?) but I’m human and I have crap days too. And I have things happen to me that hurt me and let me down too, and then some days things that’ve happened to me in the past sneak up on me and say HELLO YOU CAN’T IGNORE ME ANYMORE. Then I either one, get really great with my forcefield shield, or two I’ll stare it in the face and ask it what it wants. But I think people really think I don’t have bad days because I don’t talk about them, maybe I should start and share my coping skills. If it helps you to get push through the rough stuff, here it is.

Sometimes I feel like I’m my own therapist but really we all need a lil therapy so. Confidence is also a form of coping I think, we all cope with some deep rooted stuff that can really affect us whether or not we understand how damaged we are from our pasts or whatever is happening in our lives. And what gets me through is what I say to myself in my head (and sometimes out loud) which is that, no matter how tough it may be at that moment, 1) I’ve been through worse 2) the sun will come up tomorrow and be bright and shiny and saturate the world with all its happiness whether I like it or not and 3) I’m the only one who actually gets to decide what my life is. If it’s good it’s because I make it good, if it sucks ass it’s because I allow it to suck ass and I’m content with mediocre. And some days, honestly, I’m content with mediocre. Some days ya just gotta feeeel. Most days though, nope and nope.

If you see me smiling when I don’t want to smile it’s because I don’t like feeling sad and I feel sad a lot, it’s normal. That feeling can rush me out of no where and for no reason. Umm hello universe, can you take that energy and put it somewhere else, I’m down with The Secret so why the resistance. Sometimes I play in the mud but most days I swim in it just long enough to realize what it is that’s bothering me and why. Like is it an emotion or a thought, or is it a thought that I turned into an emotion? Most days after swimming in the muck though, it feels heavy, it weighs me down, and it’s just mooky… so I wash that shit off, smile because I can, and then I do a lil self care to change my attitude. Honestly, some days my chest feels so heavy with anxiety that it hurts to breathe, but it’s a reminder that I’m breathing, and if there’s breath left in my body I’ll fight because I’m a fucking fighter. And so are you.

I know I can get all woo woo on you but it helps me to share how I cope, it helps me to be transparent about emotions and seasons in life because that’s real to me and baby if it doesn’t feel real I don’t want it. That’s some kind of country song I just know it. If you know the song leave it below so I can give it another listen 😉

P.S. self care, therapy, medication, detoxing, all good things if you need it. And only you know what you need, don’t let society shame you for taking care of you. If you can’t take care of you then you can’t help take care of someone else and my number one secret to being Corrine’s mom is that I stay sane at all times. Sometimes that means I pop on here and ramble and sometimes that means I pop a bottle of champs and cheers my damn self.

You feel me on any of this? I think I moved away from confidence a bit, but again it’s a head space for me. Tell me about you. 

 

 

 

 

Wearing All The Hats

by with No Comment wellness

I take this topic literally and metaphorically, I mean if you watch any of my Instagram stories you’ve seen that I don a hat about 90% of the time. Hats help with my bad hair days, dirty hair days, and days I want to feel good without having to do anything with my hair at all. I promise this isn’t a post about all the hats I own. It wouldn’t be very long, think picture book and nothing but paper boy hats. This is about all the hats that I wear.

We all wear so many hats don’t we? We work, we go to school, we parent, we adult, we make lists, we Marie Kondo our lives, we do it all, and we stresss! Oh man, do we stress. That’s why I think it’s so important that we find time to re-center our energy and connect to things that we’re passionate about without the attachment to another person. It allows us to be an individual which can be difficult when we’re so busy being all the things for everyone else. I read somewhere (let me know where if you recognize this) but that ‘it’s not time that we’re limited on, time is infinite, it’s our energy and we must protect our energy, and give it away and put it into the people and things we most care about.’ It went something like that.

Joe and I both work from home now and working for ourselves we’ve known this much to be true about ourselves: we don’t clock in or out so we’re basically working from the time we wake up until the time we go to sleep, we don’t take lunch breaks where we go somewhere and step away from it all, and it’s all we talk about on date nights since it IS our life. Like, what do other people talk about on date night, I need to know. Oh and we go crazy! Trying not to lose it, here are five things I’ve been doing to stay on track so that I have time to complete my task list but also not fall off my rocker plowing through the day.

  • don’t hit snooze – oh I’ve done it before, on days that I truly need more rest and body can’t get up, I rest. Snooze away! But on most days the alarm goes off and I pop out of bed. I’ve found that it helps me personally to get up and get am ’em with no hesitation. You really have to listen to your body, if you need the rest do it, but if you don’t try jumping out of, really jump out of bed and see how you feel HA
  • morning routine – this is important for me, kind of sets the tone for the day and I’m a creature of habit so for my own brain’s sake I’ll meditate, read, dance around with music, stare blankly at a wall with no thoughts at all…. no really I’ve done that before and I consider it my form of mediation. Anything really that clears my head of clutter or negativity. Having my coffee on the couch with my diffuser going is part of my morning ritual
  • work out – again, for me personally it really helps my energy levels and my attitude to get some adrenaline going first thing in the morning. A nice sweat sesh allows me to start the day explosively and kind of keeps me at that high for the entire day. On my rest days I’ll use this time to stretch and on some days an evening workout is just how it goes. This isn’t for everyone but I believe that if I can take care of myself and I’m healthy and strong that I can take care of my loved ones
  • realistic expectations – this is really hard for a control freak like myself. I’ll write lists for my lists and then be disappointed when something isn’t crossed off. So I’ve learned to write down 5 things each day and prioritize something I’ve been dreading as my NUMBER ONE thing to get done. Have you ever felt accomplished after doing that one thing you didn’t want to do, well lead with that dread daily … you know what I’m sayin 😉 It’s always so much more painful to put it off than to just get errrr done
  • I do my best and my best is good enough – can’t you just see me repeating that to myself every day? … “all work and no play makes jack a dull boy” LOL But truly, I’ve had to learn (still learning tbh) that if I’m giving it my all, and I’m truly putting in my best, well then if something didn’t get done that’s okay

Remember, we all have the same amount of hours in the day as Oprah. No pressure self, you’ve got this. Also self, go outside and talk to people, you can become a hermit at times. And p.s. i love you

What are some thing you do daily to balance all the hat wearing that you’re doing??? Are you a bullet journaler? Do you Marie Kondo all your friends and family’s things? Do you struggle with balancing it all out? You’ve got this <3

 

 

photo-9

Why you’re allowed to let yourself go

by with No Comment beautyfashionfoodlifestyle

Ever since I had my daughter – at 16 – I hear all the time, ‘oh don’t let yourself go’, or I hear people talk about how someone else has ‘let themselves go’. What’s that supposed to do to our confidence and to our thought process subconsciously? Ah yes, tell us not to go up for that second plate of food, that it’s not ok to leave the house without any makeup on, and to not wear sweat pants out to run errands in. What?!?! I love wearing sweat pants and I REALLY love not wearing makeup. 
 

Why is it ok to tell young girls and women that they shouldn’t let themselves go, that they should always put their best foot…and face forward? It’s not. I say let go, let it all go. Go a few days without washing your hair, the natural oils will rehydrate your scalp anyways. Go a few days without looking in the mirror, you’ll find you really appreciate everything about your face when you finally look again, and go a few days without wearing makeup! Your skin will breathe, you’ll save some time in the morning, and you’ll remember what you look like when you’re not all ‘done’ up and that is a beautiful thing. 
 
With wild abandonment I think you should let yourself go. Not only with hair and makeup but with adventure and creativity. Makeup isn’t everything and neither is working 24-7-365. There isn’t one woman I know who doesn’t look beautiful without her makeup on. Yes it enhances your features, but also your features don’t need any enhancing. I suffer from this sometimes myself where I think I HAVE to have makeup on, and I post those moments (see above) and I make fun of them because it really is silly to think that you…that we….that I …am any less glamorous without my winged eyeliner. I do love that darn winged eyeliner look though. 
 
I also need to take my own advice on this sometimes, but I do truly believe that in life everything is about balance. Having that second plate of food because your cooking is bomb, and then working out and staying active…balance. Getting dolled up for work or for a night out and crimping our hair and primping and spraying and teasing…and then taking a few days to go makeup free and let your skin and hair breathe a bit….balance. It’s all balance and I think you should totally let yourself go to balance out this world of air brushing and size 00 runway models. This is what our daughters and sons see.  
 
Take it from a lady who has to get dolled up most days because she’s in front of a camera, and who’s perpetually eating ‘clean’ and living a healthy lifestyle, not only for health but also because she’s going out on auditions against girls 12 years her junior and to casting agent that kind of thing matters. Take it from me, YOU are allowed to let it all go and you’re beautiful. We need to hear that not only as girls and women and mothers, but as humans, and if this be your Monday Mantra than I’m glad you stopped in for a quick read. ‘Be-You-Tiful”. 
 
 
xoxoxo
tee1

The Beauty Of Confidence

by with No Comment beautycharitycommunityfashion

As a woman, heck as a human, I have my fair share of insecurities. It’s something we learn living in a society built on image and status, but it’s also something we unwillingly accept from judgements passed on to us from others. Something I always try to teach my daughter is that the the one thing you can wear everyday, the one thing only you can give yourself, the most beautiful accessory, is confidence. “Confidence and being comfortable are things you can see on the outside when you feel them on the inside.” – Carrie Underwood 


I heard this quote from the ever beautiful (on the inside and on the outside) Carrie Underwood. If you know me than you know I love country music. I like LOOOOOOVE it. I bought Carrie’s first album after she won American Idol back in 2005…whew time flies! And I love her, I love what she stands for, I love her voice, and most importantly, I love what uses her voice for. She conveys love, confidence, and empowerment to her listeners, to women, and I respect that she hasn’t let the industry change her. 
 
This campaign is sponsored by Almay who recently named Carrie as their latest ambassador, and I think that says a lot about the brand. Usually when a celebrity personality and a brand team up, you hear the celebrity say things that are out of character for them.  So I was pleasantly surprised to read and hear Carrie’s words in her own….words, on what she thinks makes a woman truly beautiful and why she chose Almay. 
 
I’ll share with you the video of her that I’m talking about, just click here. I’ve always loved her, I really enjoy her music, and I find it really lovely that she remains true to her own brand, still inspiring, still giving words of encouragement, and still doing what she loves. This video made me think about my own definition of beauty so here goes. 
 
Beauty is something that everyone possesses. Most people think of beauty and what comes to mind for them initially, is the esthetically pleasing kind. Yes, outer beauty is indeed beautiful. But ‘looks’ fade with age, everyone is beautiful when they are young, what makes you beautiful as you go through life and age in years and in experience, is just that. Experiences. Your thoughts, your dreams, your words, your feelings, all make you beautiful because they make you an individual. 
 
No one can take away what makes you beautiful, you can only add to it. I, like most women love makeup and clothes, and perfumes, and all things girls, and though they enhance my personality and my features, they don’t make me beautiful. My ability to love unconditionally, the way I’ve raised my daughter, my loyalty to my friends, my honesty with myself, and my big ol’ cheesy heart make me me. I like that. 
 
This video provoked me to feel these things so I’m sharing them with you. It’s been a hectic few weeks but I wanted to say hello and that you are not forgotten, and that you too are beautiful!
 
So tell me what you think makes someone beautiful, how is beauty defined to you, thank you for reading and I’ll be back here soon. And thank you to Almay for having me a part of this campaign, I truly am inspired by this beauty:

 

 
BE-YOU-TIFUL
 
xoxoxo
 
Jess