complexity is the enemy of execution – tony robbins
I was talking to a girlfriend of mine who needed a lil guidance in the productivity part of her life, and after our Zoom call I decided I really wanted to share with you what I shared with her.
Working for yourself is such a beautiful thing but it’s also a very difficult thing because a) you’re your own boss aka self motivationb) you must be relentless and fearless aka what even are days off and who doesn’t get a lil bit insecure at times and c) you’ve gotta map it all out aka be more organizedthan even I am comfortable with.
Let’s be real, I’m not especially organized, I’m also not great with being told what to do (even by my own self), and I struggle with creative blocks and time management just like most people. Let’s get through this list together, day by day and goal by goal.
Things that clutter my day & how I tackle them like a line backer
1. Social media– tricky tricky bc new media is a huge part of my job. The work around is that I block out times for this. I TRY not to look at my phone until after my workout each morning but some days just getcha! I do try to be really specific and intentional however. I post, let it go (it’s in the world now Jess let’s not overthink this), respond, engage, and get out. I get on with the day and save mindless scrolling for the end of the day bc I’m a lurker too
Hot Tip: try setting an alarm and after 20-30 mins close it out before you get sucked into the rabbit hole of bread faceplants and squishy sounds
2. Overthinking all that I need to do– we can get paralyzed by our task lists, the inaction caused by anxiety is real. Instead of overthinking, just GO. List your top 3 things the night before that you would feel productive af completing, even if you get nothing else done in the day. No negotiating with yourself, no excuses and I promise even if you just get that one thing crossed off, you’ll feel powered up to complete the rest
3. Working from bed and NOT getting my body moving right away. I’ve learned from this habit bc it doesn’t work for me. It works for some people, know what works for you. Listen to your body bc mental health is everything, so if you need a moment, take it. But if you don’t, then make it… the bed that is
I’ve learned that when starting anything- whether it’s a new career, pursuing a passion, or beginning again, there will always be resistance, there will always be a ‘better’ time, and life will always happen… just begin.
I hope some of my productivity tools help you and I’d love to know how you manage your time. What are some things you do each day to make sure you’re sticking to the path? Distractions are natural and I love wondering from the path too, just remember come back and keep trekking along <3
I’ve partnered with Green Giant, Optimum Nutrition, vitafusion and L’il Critters as part of an Influencer Activation and all opinions expressed in my post are my own.
Can you believe we’re already through January and walking firmly into the rest of the new decade?! We launched this year with goal sharing and our family’s resolutions for the year and I wanted to check in and see where we all are now that the first month of the 2020 is coming to a close <3
To recap: our family wants to eat more meals together, eat healthier, be more active, and take our vitamins! I’m happy to report that we’ve been staying on track *praise hands* I went to our local Walmart at the start of this month and picked up some things that have helped us to stay focused and support our wellness goals.
My top picks are the Optimum Nutrition Gold Standard Whey Protein and Essential Amino Energy, the Green Giant Veggie Hash Browns, and vitafusion – with a shout out to the L’il Critters too! I hope you enter the Resolutions at Walmart Sweepstakes and do it with us. Here we gooo!
I mean, this Optimum Nutrition Gold Standard Whey Protein is Vanilla Ice Cream flavored, travel friendly (oh hai tumbler), perfect for in between meals, and it’s SO delicious that you can mix it with just water and go! This protein is so important with how often we’re working out and helps us meet our daily protein requirements. Win win.
Essential Amino Energy not only gives us energy and focus for those workouts, but also helps support muscle recovery … perfect for bootcamp heyyy. I love this Fruit Fusion flavor!
vitafusion Men and Women’s Gummy Vitamins have been such a yummy way for us to be nutritious and get our daily vitamins in. They are the #1 Gummy Vitamin Brand and the only gummy vitamin brand with “clinically proven absorption”. Sure, those are great facts but the fact that as adults we’re taking our vitamins daily … super win!
The L’il Critters Children’s Gummy Vitamins are a perfect way to get you little ones to take their vitamins. They’re fun, taste great, and are this cute lil gummy bear shaped! There’s no artificial sweeteners or flavors in them, and is the only gummy vitamin brand with “doctor tested proven nutrient absorption”. Again, win win!
*For Vitamins C & D3 in products that contain those nutrients **The ChefsBest Excellence Award is awarded to brands that surpass a quality standard established by independent professional chefs
Green Giant Veggie Hash Browns what I can say, these are crunchy and everything we love about has browns with one full serving of cauliflower in each serving. Corrine doesn’t even know that it’s an actual veggie hash brown, she just asks for them every day! Perfect as a breakfast side, grab and go snack, and free of artificial colors, flavors, and preservatives *where are those praise hands again* If you love these as much as we do, be sure to check out the other great Green Giant products at Walmart, like the Cauliflower Gnocchi!
I hope my go-to products that have helped keep us on track as a family so far this year also inspire you! You can shop all of these products at Walmart and enter the Resolutions at Walmart Sweepstakes!
Here’s all the Sweepstakes Information you’ll need:
Enter for a chance to win a gym membership for a year!
Entries valid from December 28th 2019 – February 24th, 2020
Limit one prize per person or household. Only one valid entry per person over the sweepstakes
I grew up with three dads. It’s a beautiful story and I love all my dads, they each play a different role in my life. The daddio who raised me was my Drill Sergeant dad. He raised us on tough love and discipline, we were like little soldiers with chores and rules, and we lived on military bases for most of my life- you get the picture.
I didn’t know this until I was much older, but there were a lot of lessons there in the things he’d say to us. LOL the story of everyone’s childhood eh? So I looked up the literal definition of, “suck it up” because it was something I’d hear on the daily. It read: Accept a hardship
Suck it up Miss Priss he’d say
My dad used to tell my siblings and I to suck it up and I was referred to as, ‘Miss Priss’. I was girly and I loved raiding my mom’s makeup bag and wearing her jewelry. I’d prance around in her stilettos before I even knew how to walk properly in them, and my sister and I would have fashion shows- we’d even dress up my brother! I thought I was a Princess. Some things never change 😉
I’m the oldest of three and I’d think to myself, ‘why do I have to be tough like my brother and why do I have to be in charge of everyone?’. I’d get into a lot of trouble if my brother or sister got into trouble so we looked out for one another, we were the three best friends that anyone’s ever had. And I’ve taken that phrase and have said it out loud to my self, I’ve said it to my daughter, I’ve even said it to my puppers when they look at their kibble like ‘wtf’. I was taught to be tough so I thought everyone else should be too. It’s the way I parented.
to accept something is to give it consent
I don’t necessarily consent to anything in life that has sharpened my edges. But I’ve learned from all of them, I’ve let some of that shit go (literally balled those moments up in my fist and dropped em out my window, and onto the freeway), and moved on from anything that didn’t grow me. I used to resent it when I was told to suck it up, it made me feel like I wasn’t given permission to hurt or feel. But it wasn’t that at all, I just wasn’t given permission to whine about it. “Why waste your energy on something out of your control?”… ummm couldn’t my dad have just said that? I was and I am allowed to hurt, to feel, and to be emotional. I just won’t whine about it… for long any way.
We don’t have to accept anything. But we can use things that would usually bid resistance and instead apply them to be the driving force behind what keeps us moving. Think of it like this: we are in control . . . of nothing. How we react is everything and if we can just take all the bullshit, all the wrenches that get thrown in our (very overly controlled) plans, the interactions with mean people and all the suck-ass situations in life, and if we can just “suck it up” for a moment- I’ve realized that there’s more that’ll keep you going than there are things that’ll knock you down baby.
I’m grateful for never being saved
When no one comes to save you, you become fully aware that you don’t need anyone to save you. You understand clearly that you can save your gahtdamn self. And I did. And you will. And you have. Read that again <3
Can you think of moments in your life where you actually saved your own ass from something and thought, “f*ck, I’ve totally got this.”? Click through to see the sweetest best friends that anyone’s ever had <3
my baby Corrine and I
who would tell this cute face to suck it up haha
I told ya, the three best friends that anyone's ever had
This past Saturday wrapped up my first ever Reset Camp. I had the honor of being head coach alongside my friend and fitness Jesus Lacey Stone. If you follow me on Instagram you’ve seen me post a bunch about Lacey, The Wall, these Comeback Camps, and my excitement over coaching. So I wanted to take a moment to tell you why you’ve seen this flux in fitness posts and what it means to me to be a coach.
this is not dejavu, this is a separate post on why I love coaching you
Lacey’s camps are so special because it’s more than just a bootcamp, these camps are about so much more than just the workouts. I really do believe that you can get a good workout anywhere, it’s all about how much effort you put into it or if you’re just phoning that session in. I’ve gotten the same results from hot yoga as I have from a bootcamp style workout because I hulk out no matter what I do … granted, I need to learn to chill TF out, but it really comes down to how present you are in that room right?
… we’re resetting our energy, not just refocusing on our goals
During my Reset camp I really tried to convey the message that we were resetting our energy, not just refocusing on our goals. Though it may be easier to remember why you started, I’ve realized that it’s more difficult for us to reset our energy because we’re so used to giving it away to everyone else. Our time together is more about: refill our energy, and then refocus and reset. That’s what we do in these camps. As time goes on and we evolve as people we change, so it’s completely normal that our goals do too. Here are some excerpts from my emails that I sent out to our squad last week and I want you to read them so that if you need to hear it, it’s here. Or maybe you know someone else who needs to hear it. Where ever you’re at and what ever your goal, it’s our mission as a team to help you get there. Here’s a little love letter from me to you about my Reset camp, what we did, and what you can expect during One Month Mission (1MM).
These camps aren’t for the faint of heart, they’re not easy, and there’s nothing soft or gentle about them
As a coach, I’ve observed your courage and how you move with intensity. These camps aren’t for the faint of heart, they’re not easy, and there’s nothing soft or gentle about them. I mean, these workouts have roughed us up and here we are still standing! That’s how we do.
Lacey asked me what my favorite part of camp was and there were SO many memorable moments. And I’ll tell you, RESET was intense. Yesterday alone, you switched sides four times, you went TEN timed rounds, and you pushed more weight on the benches than in the entire camp combined. I left little room for you to catch your breath and onto the next move we went, performing combinations I’d never thrown at you before. Throughout all the madness, you showed no weakness or hesitation in your bodies…even after the 799 sprints. I want you to remember that the next time in life you want to tap TF out—you did all that! Memorable.
These workouts are absolutely designed to make you stronger physically, challenge your stamina, and push you past your limits. But it is more about pushing so hard that you’re forced to tap into the place you pull from when you physically have nothing left to give, that place deep within our bellies where we’re confronted with our inner dialogue. That is when one of two things happens: You either doubt your abilities and let your minds wander, or you do what you did this week and step into your power. That’s true grit.
To paraphrase something from the film Game Changers, “It’s not about how strong you are or how much power you have, it’s what you do with that strength and power.” You sharpened your edges this Reset, you made one another better, and you spread that energy around like peanut buttah. Lacey and I were literally speechless after class and that says a lot about two people who always have something to say.
Something I’ve asked of you is to be willing to give your all, to be coachable, and to trust the process … we’re going to enter that room with purpose and we’ll leave it all on the floor. Get good sleep tonight, because…“There’s just one thing: we never, ever do nothing nice and easy, we always do it nice and rough.” – Tina Turner, Proud Mary. I am so proud of YOU.
that you’ll only find here at #TeamLSF
Those were just some pieces from our team emails that I wrote to our campers that I wanted to share with you because I do believe there is something we do in that room together that you can’t just recreate. Like I said, you can get a good workout anywhere. There are some FAN-FUGGEN-TASTIC trainers/coaches/teachers out there. But to have a team of badass, strong, warrior-women by your side doing it with you and 3 coaches to guide you, support you, and protect you along the way … that you’ll only find here at #TeamLSF. I do hope I get the chance to help coach you this month during 1MM, click here to claim your spot if you’re local to Los Angeles and if you’d like to join us virtually, you can do that HERE! You can’t escape me, I’m all over the VP and so is Kristin so go rep the virtual squad baby! Hop on the forums and say hello! <333
That was a lot of gushing on how special I believe our team to be, but honestly I think anyone would say that about a group of people they have infinite love for. I felt so sad driving away from the studio on our last day, like I truly wanted to write one last email and then spend every day with everyone haha But I hold that squad near to my heart and now on to 1MM we go! So LET’S GO!
Where will I see you? In person for camp and workouts? On the virtual platform??? Let’s just spend every day together!
“Let’s push through the rough stuff and eat the good stuff”- Coach Jess
I realize this is actually the longest title ever in life, but I couldn’t think of anything more accurate than the statement itself. I said this in a recent video of mine and I meant it.
If you’ve been following along my journey to become a fitness instructor, you know it all began with my fitness journey for myself- but then it morphed into something way outside of myself. Bigger. Corrine had graduated High School, she was going to college and working full time… so umm what other hats did I wear when I took off my mom hat? I put that hat on when I was 15 to be exact.
And I’ve always been active, going through seasons of working out and seasons of not stepping foot inside a gym or studio for months/years. Then I reconnected with a friend of mine, Tiffany Morgan who was working with this fitness goddess, Lacey Stone. In summation- 2 years ago I joined her ‘come back camps’ (bootcamp style workouts + team building), I became obsessed with strength and empowering my teammates, and I realized it was a passion of mine to literally ‘work it out’ alongside others.
Lets eat the good stuff and push through the rough stuff
That’s what my entire brand has been about. Using pain for power, empowering others and giving my energy to the people I care about. Except I didn’t know there was something I could actually do with that, and where would I even start? How intimidating it all sounded, how intimidating the fitness industry was is. So many things could’ve stopped me from pursuing this new career (and almost did). But something was WAY bigger than my fear of failing, way more important to me than my fear of starting something new, of rejection and intimidation.. of training a room full of people ahhh! My desire to help others trumped my fear of failing, my fear of anything really. Oh the fear was still there,
but if you can make your purpose bigger, then you’re unstoppable
So here I am, still shaking (still human) but pushing forward and moving through that uncomfortable feeling. I wanted to share this with you because I learned that if you have something that tugs at you and that you always come back around to, do that thing. I promise you’ll never regret following your passion. Especially when you give of yourself because
that is your legacy
I really like adding in quotations can you tell? lol And I don’t even care how cheesy this is going to sound because I believe it with everything I am- I do believe that as fitness instructors and trainers we work in the service industry. I learned so much going through training and I value the statement that- we hold the space for people to move through whatever they’re going through. We guide and encourage our clients to step into their power, and it’s not about us. And that’s the ONE thing that got me through teaching my very first class this morning. To be a light in someone’s day because
sometimes people are silently struggling
We’ve all been there right? Who doesn’t struggle? But if I can leave my shit at the door, show up for someone else, help them push through the rough stuff, and show them how fuggen strong they really are- honestly that’s why I decided to pivot my career.
I just needed to get that out. And even though you may not be thinking of becoming a leader in fitness, whatever it is that you’re going after, keep going. You’re a leader just by being relentless and getting after it even when it seems too hard- especially when it seems too hard. So I’ll end this public diary entry with some real life images and video from today. A very special day that I’ll never forget. It’s not professional or polished but here it is and I’m so proud of everyone who showed up. Thank you for your energy, your smiles, and your encouragement. Lacey Stone, you already know! Ride or die baby! Mucho respeto <3
So tell me something scary af yet special that you’ve done that you thought was for you but you realized had nothing to do with you and it totes fulfilled you because it was bigger than you
Wowza, now that’s a mouth full but here goes! Prepare yourselves for my word vomit. I’m not holding back.
So as you know, every day it seems like Instagram and other social platforms are changing their algorithms and policies. Or maybe you don’t know and therefore don’t care because it doesn’t affect you? *high five to you* But since there’s a lot of anxiety and frustration surrounding all the changes within the community, today I want to talk about:
if and how it could affect creators (all users really, but specifically to those brand deal negotiators)
what you can really do to keep up with the fackking algorithms and changes (other than chuck your laptop out the window)
cyber bullying/ competition/ mob mentality/ ego- how I really feel. Here’s a preview: Instagram can suck it.
Fine, I’ll admit that came out harsh. Not wrong, because that’s how I actually feel but let me tell you why something as little as an app on a phone can really rile me up. I’ll start here.
1) does it affect its users? Okay, so if your money maker is a platform like Instagram where you team up with brands on the reg and they pay you to create content for a campaign (i.e. my Palmers hair care campaign) sure, maybe. But that depends on you and what you’re willing to do. Or not do rather. The algorithm is ever changing because their motives are to keep users on the app longer. Like all damn day. Like, don’t have a life and if you do, live it ON Instagram. They no longer feature the chronological feeds because they want to give you the content that you’ve proven to interact with the most.
It’s not you, it’s them. But it’s because of you that it’s them.
Hence, everyone and their mother made those “turn on my notifications” posts. See, the more you interact with someone’s content (watch stories, like, comment, blah blah) the more IG will prioritize that content for you. Not bad if you really think about it, they’re simply trying to curate content for you in the same way YouTube killed their Home page. But kinda sucks ass for creators because we’re constantly keeping up with ‘trends’, reaching for ‘low hanging fruit’… and all the other bad jargon that comes from it. It’s like this: there are people who base-line interact with your content and people who don’t interact at all because they’re just lurking or scrolling mindlessly through their feeds (I actually scroll mindlessly quite often. It’s not an app I want to open up and think about ya know). Well those interactions aren’t technically ‘interactions’ and now they don’t count towards your algorithm see? Because it’s not a human being making the decisions it’s all code baby.
ABANDON YOUR INSTAGRAM PODS
This is a whole other article I need to write. There’s a lot you may be doing to actually hurt you on IG, but we’ll talk about that later. My point in saying that is, there are things you can do to help move with the changes.
2) What can I do to keep up with all the changes? What I really meant to say was, “there are things you can do to try and beat the system”, but the system is a machine and you are not Johnny Five. Looping back around to the ‘things you may or may not be willing to do’ bit. If you’ve noticed a dip in all around interactions, views, Likes yada yada- here are the things you can do to basically be in everyone’s faces all of the time, which makes the machine go, “oh yea, we like this person, they’re really using every feature. Lets push out their content more”.
really use every feature. a) IG Live- at least once a week, even for a few minutes. Some people go Live every day. I am not those people. But I applaud their dedication b) story story story- on the daily. Oh you’ve been seeing people story more? Like a dozen times? Ya, they either love talking to the camera or they are trying to use every feature more c) In-feed post at least once a day. Post videos in feed at least once a week. Use the carousel feature in-feed as much as you can without going bonkers d) IGTV- at least once a week z) yes I said z because damn, anything else they want us to do? So z- use the GIFs, the Swipe Up feature, link all the things, use stickers…just go NUTS in your stories making them so fucking interactive that no one even knows what the hell you’re talking about anymore
Oh she mad.
Nah, she’s just done trying to dance when they tell me to dance. I’m venting here but I’d by lying if I said I didn’t do any of these things. I actually do ALL of them. It’s my job (I chose this, no regrets but sheesh can ya give the girl a breather) to overshare. I actually choose what I want to share very carefully because it’s a very vulnerable thing to do and also, that’s a lot of pressure for anyone I think. At the end of the day, my ‘job’ heavily relies on engagement and on how frequently I post to my blog, YouTube, and social media platforms. Sleep? I hardly know her.
If you have an audience on any platform, it’s my personal belief that you have a public responsibility to not fuck people up in the head
I told you, I’m not holding back. I say: HIDE THE LIKES. BUHBYEEE!!! Cool, let me focus on quality over quantity, let me breathe and not worry about if a brand will pass on my pitch just because it’s not getting enough ‘engagement’. I just think there’s a lot of ‘influencers’ who use their influence for BS and share a life that is unattainable to 99% of the real world. People talk about things without realizing that it actually influences young minds. I’ve been guilty of it myself, trust. The highlight reel is anything but REAL. I found myself pivoting my own conversations with my audience to try and do as much as I can- well as much as you can do really, on an application, without sounding cheesy or preachy. <— that is v hard to draw the line on. I actually like the idea of hiding likes because it
relieves people of the pressure- “how many likes did I get”. That fake scale of self worth should be burned with fire.
no competition & comparison- or the reduction of, at least. Sadly a lot of this will exist whether or not the app actually exists and that’s a sad reality. The mob mentality on any public forum is REAL. And the egos and insecurities that drive people to bully others and to personally seek them out to attack them is disgusting. I’ve experienced so much of this myself and it’s got to stop. I don’t know who or how or when but can it stop already? Kids are dying, kids are killing themselves and others, and it’s sickening. Does this not haunt you? PS I’m talking specifically about our youth here. Yes adults too, but young impressionable minds are young and impressionable.
brands will measure worth more accurately and fairly- it will not be quantitive. But quality will actually matter when considering who hires who and P.S. brands will still have access to metrics and we’ll all still be obligated to disclose partnerships in accordance with FTC regulations. So this should not affect backend number stuff
less invasive and more truthful- people will Like the things they truly like and interact with things they truly want to interact with. And honestly, they’re probably already doing that. So often, the Likes equate to validation and clout. I understand that IG’s choice to hide Likes is probably less about wanting to do good in the world, and more about marketing tactics and making more money BUT I’d like to think that this change would be a good thing.
At the end of the day we can’t let this stuff affect us. We either go with the flow or riot right? LOL There’s a lot of things to give your energy to in your life. That’s the real stuff that affects us. All we can really do with the internet part of it, is to keep creating the things we want to share with the world + be our most authentic selves as much we can + stay sane through this crazy time in life. I mean, most of us only had to worry about someone at school passing us a note by accident, not posting about us to THE WORLD.
I know that was a lot. I just really wanted to talk about this since it’s been all over my emails, my work life, and the community. I’d really like to know what you think. And HEY, if you just wanna post about your life and not make it a drama with ‘morals of the story’ and ‘lessons we learned today’, that’s absolutely okay! But if that’s something you’re doing… does any of this make you go hmmmmm?
Are you affected? Do you care or nah? Have you seen the changes and what do you think of all this social media madness? P.S. thank you for always supporting me. Reading my posts, interacting with me on the Gram, all the things- it all shows your love and support so thank you so much, I see you <3
FYI this is a book. Do you remember that movie from the 80’s where a group of friends reunite after many years and the entire film revolves around one pivotal summer? That’s today’s theme as I revisit my past- except it includes many pivotal seasons, with friends- except you’re my friends, some old and some new.
It feels pretty fitting today being International Women’s Day and me reliving moments that heavily revolve around women literally saving my life in certain moments. This is for them and for you.
Perhaps it’s a defense mechanism we use to protect ourselves from getting too close, but sometimes it’s just easier for us to put others in a box of expectations, like four walls full of assumptions that are usually far from the actual truth. At the end of the day we’re all more alike than we are different and we’re all moving through something. I think the more we share our stories the more we can help one another. Here’s some of mine
the only pregnancy picture I have. I was 5 months pregnant here.
This cutie baby. I was 16, she was just a few months old, and like a baby model!
Chola Jess and baby Corriney. She was probably 4-6 months old here.
Easter and Corrine was 3 I think. Look at those little baby hands!
of all the toys she had, she LOVED playing with a laundry basket
my lil squishy baby
both of our chubby cheeks squished together = love
Corrine's 4th birthday <3
this is when I wanted to be J Lo. Still do! I wore a lot of animal print
the glamour shots of the 90's
15 and pregnant
I was actually 15 when I got pregnant with Corrine and 16 when I had her. I lost all my friends, my HS gently asked me to leave and continue my studies from home, and I disappointed every single person I respected.
What I learned– no one gets to decide YOUR life but you. I fought to keep Corrine when my family wanted me not to have her (ps they LOVED her when she was born. Not the point). I fought to finish my HS education and graduated a year early with the Presidential Award and a scholarship. So when someone tells you that you can’t do something, tell them to watch you, and then strut your ass away like you’re on the brightest most biggest lit runway of life.
Leaving a love.
Whether you’re ending a marriage, breaking up with your significant other, or fleeing in the middle of the night because your life depends on it, you’ve gotta do what you’ve gotta do. I left a marriage, I left a relationship, and each time it didn’t get easier. What helped is when friends (lookin’ at you Kiki) took us in and let us stay with them when we had no where to go and I didn’t want us to sleep in our car again.
What I learned- leave before it’s too late. Before you hate each other, before it becomes too toxic that you no longer respect one another enough to be decent. Before you throw wrenches or take a fist to the face, before you can’t leave. Ask for help, reach out to a friend or a family member, say something. Don’t stay because it’s comfortable, because you think you need them, because you don’t.
Child custody and being broke af
I fought for years for Corrine to be in my custody. I fought by myself and for myself. He had a lawyer, a really good one. I had no one and nothing but 2 jobs, a mattress on the floor, a broken tv, and a shit ton of debt. Did I mention I was running from the repo company for a year? And I did it because I had this little human looking up at me depending on me for coping skills and I swear you can do it too. When I had no love left for myself I still showed her love. Even when I felt like I had none to give and was worthy of none in return, she made me the woman I am today.
What I learned- I have to love myself for Corrine to ever know what love looks like or feels like. It’s so important the things we say to ourselves when no one is listening. I had to lean on women in my life for them to see the light in me (and show it to me) when I couldn’t find it in myself. Lean on friends, check in on the strong ones- they probably need it most, and I hope you love yourself more than anyone could ever love you.
Life today- meeting Joe and the happily ever after
Joe’s the first relationship I’ve ever been in where I feel safe. Safe to be myself, to feel my crazy, to be insecure, to be outrageous and uncontrollable. You’re worth someone that will only compliment your happiness and never control your life or determine your worth.
What I learned- how to get out of debt, how to set goals as a team, how to BE a team mate, how to stop trying to control everything. How to let go… oh ya, did I tell you I’m a type A control freak? In all seriousness, the worries I had as a single mom don’t hurt me anymore and to be honest I’m still coping with that reality. It’s another life not having to live like someone’s gonna take everything away from me if I don’t hold it tightly. Joe brings that security to our family, the feeling of grounding which is so important. I’m super independent but I can finally let that feeling like we could starve or be homeless go. We haven’t struggled like that in years but it’s still hard for me to realize that I’m not struggling any more, I mean I still struggle, but it’s different. We all struggle.
I know that was a lot but I really wanted to share some things and to also tell you that you’re not alone. Take from this BOOK of a post what you need. And if you need to hear that it’ll be okay I promise it will.
Tell me something pivotal in your life and what you learned.
This post was sponsored by Café Bustelo as part of an Influence Central campaign, however all opinions expressed here are my own.
I recently uploaded a video to my YouTube channel where I share with you some highs and lows I’ve experienced being a teen mom. I believe that so much of being a parent revolves around patience, understanding, and the desire to teach over the desire to punish. So much easier said than done when your emotions are high and your tolerance is low, I know. Though my Corriney is 19 years old, this mama is still very much a part of #TeamNoSleep!
Something I touch on in my video is the importance of setting aside time each day that is just for you. As a mom and a generally compassionate person, a lot of my time is spent making sure that everyone around me is okay. So much so that sometimes I forget that I need to do that for myself too, or I start to feel like the walls are closing in.
My morning routine, that’s just for me. I’m a coffee and carbs kind of morning person and I love waking up before anyone else does. There’s something really special about enjoying quiet, still mornings before the day begins. I’m up around 6am to doodle in my planner, prep for the gym, and set my intentions for the day over a cup of coffee and puppy snuggles. The pups love our morning routine just as much as I do because they get 100% of my attention before I run a muck for the day.
As a part of Hispanic Heritage Month, Café Bustelo® K-Cup® Pods launched at Target and I couldn’t wait to try them. They’re espresso style and just what I need to literally kick start my day- I mean I head to bootcamp before Joe leaves for work on most days. My favorite way to enjoy a cup each morning is cafe con leche style with warm milk, cinnamon, and sugar … oh and whipped cream!
During the week it’s a cup of cafe con leche with toast and eggs, something simple and fast that I can just run out the door with. On weekends when both Corrine and Joe are home, their favorite lately has been my huevos rancheros quinoa bowls! It’s spicy, protein packed, and delicious!
I didn’t know if my Target was going to have the Café Bustelo K Cup Pods but lucky for me they were easy to find- bright in color and displayed with the rest of the K Cup Pods. I’ve got to tell you, as a coffee connoisseur, I’m swooning over Café Bustelo’s bold flavor that I can still taste through the milk, sugar, and whipped cream I pair it with. It has this full bodied, rich flavor, that you can both smell and taste. I know that sounds a bit woo woo but once you’ve tried it you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about!
Do yourself a favor and adopt a morning routine that’s just for you, and however you take your coffee, try Café Bustelo! It’s available at Target in whole bean, ground, K-Cup Pods, instant, and brick, so pick some up and try it the way I have it each morning. You can get 10% off with the Target Cartwheel app, you know I love a great bargain!
I’ll link you to my video here, please Subscribe if you haven’t already, I have a whole series where I just chat mom life <3 You do you and get on a routine that’s realistic and manageable, and remember that mamas need a break sometimes too.
Do you have a morning routine? How do you carve out time each day just for you?
The art of being a woman, I mean damn, it’s an art. We navigate through life with tenacity and tact, grace and gratitude. So the story goes like this – my insanely talented and driven friend Alexandra wrote a book called The Art Of Being A Woman and I went to her launch party last night, which inspired this post. I was honored to have been on a panel with some pretty incredible talent where we discussed women’s issues, finding balance in life as a woman, and what we believe the art of being a woman means. My quote at the end of the panel was short and sweet, “we’re sexy, we smell good, we’re powerful, and we birth life”.
Among many things I also think ladies can be pretty bad ass when it comes to being savvy with our money and smart about our finances. Bargain shopping, that’s what I’m getting at here folks. You foxy babes will patiently sift and search, until you find the perfect piece . . . just like we find our husbands! KIDDING! In all seriousness though, the money I save bargain shopping is money I save for my kiddo. This write up is really to encourage you to pick up and read Alex’s book for insight and inspiration, AND to entice you with frugality. Because you can’t feel guilty when you shop and saving your hard earned money for a life you deserve is a very real thing. Yes, I am the queen of segues.
Lets be real, you’ll never find me in a high-end department store purchasing shoes that cost more than $50, or having the latest and greatest hand bag, or even knowing what those brands are- that’s just not me (that Tom Ford lippy there, on sale!). I have nothing but love for those of you who splurge on the finer things in life, I’d just rather find them on sale! So I’m gonna share with you my number one secret for this summer . . . having this season’s hottest accessories for literally 95% off. Crazy talk I know.
I fell deep into an Instagram hole, as we all do at 3am … and found so many adorably cute jewelry companies. I wanted these earrings so badly until I found out they were $96 and wanted to chuck my phone at the wall before I remembered that Joe was asleep next to me and refrained. Needn’t worry though, your girl found these (just as beautiful) dupes for $5.90! Forever 21 y’all. Also this is not an ad #ipaidforthis. I swooned and maybe even squeaked a lil over these Circle Cutout Ear Jackets because they’re very similar to their $84 step sisters but for a ridiculously lower price point.
And check it, these Filigree Drop Earrings are only $4.90 compared to the $95 earrings that I was side eyeing because classic, and for less than 6 bucks you can have this summer’s hottest trend- the tasseled duster earrings, which I found for $75+ on other sites. You may think quality above all else but if you’re like me and you lose earrings like you lose socks (where do those lone socks even go?!) than this is just fine for you *snap snap
Insane right?! Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE beautiful things and sometimes we just get what we pay for and we wanna splurge on whatever the hell we want. DO IT! But also sometimes not. I’d personally rather invest my money in experiences and traveling with my family. I also want to be out of college student loan debt, I want a house, and I don’t want to worry about my daughter struggling in her future, I want all of that. So I save and I save and this is one of the many ways that I do that. Also, no one will even know that you’re not on brand and if they do they’re standing too close.
So that’s the lesson for today, my Mama Lizama Moment if you will- to run, not walk on over to snag a book from my girl Alex, and to save where you can by indulging on some thangs and not on others. The art of being a woman to me also includes being financially free and dammit if that means I shop sales for the rest of my life so I can have that big ol’ house than I’ll do it! This was a simple trick that I wanted to share with you, a quirky way to be all trendy but not break the bank and I hope some of my ways help you too!
What does the art of being a woman mean to you? If you could describe it in one word what would it be? I should’ve added “financially savvy” to my last quote 😉
