It’s wedding season! The warm summer months, breezy beautiful evenings, it’s the most coveted time of year to plan a wedding, bridal shower, and bachelorette party. With this Bride Guide I’ve got you covered and over the next few weeks I’ll go into detail about what’s necessary, what’s not, and what’s just fun FUNS- the best part! This is my favorite series that I’ve ever launched and starting today, we’ll begin with the basics.
First thing’s first, if you’re wedding is in less than 6 months away… BOOK YOUR VENUE! Start looking now, book it and let that first big thing v important thing, be taken care of so you can focus on the fun stuff like your dress, the party, the food, the people…did I mention the party?
So congratulations on your engagement and I’m happy you’re here! My mission is to help you stay far far away from Bridezillaville <3
Thought starters:
who, what, when, where, how- the who is easy: you and your fiance´, the intimate or larger than life wedding is the what, so now it’s all about prep and plan! The how will come, first answer some of these questions
what’s our budget- is this a DIY wedding or a ‘spare no expense’ kind of wedding, will it be small and intimate, or will everyone and their mother be there? Is there a wedding planner or are you it?
location location location – venue for the vows and the reception, church or other space to exchange vows and then a separate location for the reception? Multiple locations? Outdoor? Indoor? Destination?
details- catering, open bar (for the love of love please do an open bar), cake/cupcakes/pies/dessert table, favors, decorations, flowers, seating charts, all that we’ll go into in my next Bride Guide article
the most fun part- THE DRESS, is there a party dress, the groom/bride/partner, the bridal party, hair, makeup, accessories, bridal shower, bachelorette/bachelor parties, all the things that make this season so fun, so memorable, so worth every penny-every tear-every argument-every frustration
So now that you’re thinking about these things, lets break it down even further for next time and do me a favor and leave me a comment or DM on Instagram and tell me all the topics that you want to hear about. All the things you want me to go into detail over, I’ve got you!
Congratulations! I’m so excited for you and I cannot wait to share more of this Bride Guide series with you <333
YES GIRL, all three of them! I mean, who says you can only have one dress on your special day?! Okay yes, I did actually, buuut I hadn’t seen the other two to KNOW that I NEEDED them! lol
So there will be three dresses happening, but only because of the rehearsal at the chapel (you HAVE to wear a dress for this yes?) and then the 4th of July tiki-themed backyard after party. Whoa, that’ll be my new hashtag ha #4thofJulytikithemedbackyardafterparty 😀
My wedding dress I won’t reveal here just because, surprises, but the other two I’m sharing because it’s so fun to share the process of it all (and Joe’s seen these two). I’ve just been so overwhelmingly excited for all of this! I also did so much trying on of the dresses and online shopping where 183 dresses were sent to me! Really only 1 or 2 make the cut but I learned so much along the way. So for the backyard after party I went with this beautiful blush tulle Vera Wang dress, it looks taupe in photographs but the details of the dress are so delicate and it’s not heavy and doesn’t tug or pull. Since we’re having a mid summer wedding in MARYLAND (hello humidity!), I knew I wanted something light and that I could move and dance in, but still feel like a bride in. Oh I WILL be stretching out this entire day until midnight 😉
If this location looks familiar it’s because it is. When Corriney and I decided to have our picnic date I thought it’d be the perfect opportunity to photograph this beauty outside since that’s where it’ll dance the night away anyway. I really love that it’s flowy in the wind but didn’t blow up over my bum (that’d be a disaster on my wedding day when alcohol is involved), and the sweetheart neckline is concealing enough for my busty self and has just the right amount of femininity and subtlety.
It’s midi length and didn’t require any alterations hallelu! You can find this dress at David’s Bridal and lucky for you, it’s on sale right now, gogogo – lots of deals happening right now! #thankyouweddingseason The blush pink earrings you can create at Kendra Scott, and the stunning sash is from BHLDN (also where I got THE dress yeee!)
For the rehearsal I wanted to feel classy and sexy, like “oh la la, look at me I’m a bride to be”! So I went with this Parker dress that has the most beautifully flattering neckline. It’s beaded, knee length, dainty, and SPARKLY! Just a sneak peek of it but I promise to spam everyone with photos of it once I wear it!
Of course I’ve saved shoes for last, they’re a big deal I get it! One thing I almost overlooked and I’m sure a lot of brides do also, is how LONG we’ll be wearing them! Most fancy shoes aren’t created for comfort, I mean no pump will ever be as comfortable as a flip flop- but I’ve found a solution! After a ton of googling “most comfortable shoes on your wedding day”, I came across these insoles from Vivian Lou. They’re designed by a podiatrist and engineered by a ROCKET SCIENTIST . . . like wuuut.
They shift your weight allowing for a more “equal distribution of weight between the forefoot and heel”. It’s science people, I don’t know. And they also prevent your foot from slipping forward, so like why don’t I have these in every single pair of shoes that I own! These will be in my wedding shoes, my dancing shoes, and any shoe that was created for a more narrow foot and not these coconut-tree-climbing feet I have.
Splurging on a rockin’ pair of heels for your wedding day is pretty epic, but I think comfort far outweighs any bling that catches my eye. Only thing I have to find now is some kind of slip or undergarment that will allow me to dance the day/night away without sweating like a sailor.
I found some pretty incredible deals while searching high and low for all the perfect wedding day details, so just remember to be patient, do your research, and never be afraid to DIY the hell outta everything. Except your veil, if you’re like me than you absolutely, definitely do not want to DIY that.
Ah yes, my beautiful Corriney who was also photographer/ set designer/ flower child/ and fellow lover of loafs on this day! After photos we had a nice lil picnic together and hiked back to the car full of bread, cheese, jams, and watermelon. If you missed my post on things to do with the fam bam including this picnic, you can peep it here <3
I hope you enjoyed this article and are loving this #JessBrideGuide series! I’m having so much fun sharing all of the things I’m going through along the way leading up to our I do’s with you <3
Have you ever used insoles like the ones I’ve featured here? Did you have more than one dress on your wedding day? Am I turning into a bridezilla?! #dontanswerthat
YOU’RE GETTING MARRIED!!! I’m getting married too yayyy ! So now what do we do?!
Get married they said, it’ll be fun they said. Except, they forgot to say that there’s a lot of planning and unneccessary details that go into your wedding. And it IS fun, but what’s up with all these RULES! Who made up things like, wedding favors, a wedding theme, oh and do you know the color of your linens?! OH OH and will you need chafing sets?! Ummm what? I just want to wear a pretty dress and say I do to my best friend in front of everyone we love.
So incase you too are going through all of the details of wedding planning, here’s a little bride guide from me to you, as I navigate through all of this with you. From sorting out the to-do list, to prioritizing the following umpteen things that must get done. So deep breaths my pretty, here we go!
1. Create a website or landing page for your guests – we’re using Weebly but there are a ton of other web hosting sites, we just love that this one is FREE! This is a great place to put who, what, when, where, and how to get there for all of your friends and family members. Include accommodations (if you block out rooms they’ll get a discounted rate), shuttle or bus information if there’s any, schedule of events, where you’re registered for gifts, and a deadline for their RSVP
2. Send out Save The Dates – this part doesn’t make any sense to me. You’re sending guests a Save The Date WITH your wedding date on it, but then they need a formal invitation also . . . the rules part. We sent out Paperless Post save the dates and on them we included our wedding website and asked our guests to RSVP that way. I purchased ‘coins’ and sent it out after importing all of my guest’s emails- made it so easy! There’s also Evite and other places that you can send online invitations through. If you choose to have them printed, Minted and Paper Divas are great I’ve heard and won’t cost your first born!
3. Location, Venue, Food – oh and the DJ, centerpieces, wedding gown and accessories, bouquet, and other big ticket items to sort out. Once you’ve chosen your venue and location, set a day and time and get to planning baby! Don’t forget to ask your venue if they provide tables, chairs, linens, and a set up/ break down crew. Food options, open bar, centerpiece arrangements, and cake cutting fees are also some things you’ll want to confirm with your venue. If you get a ‘day of wedding coordinator’ than they’ll make sure you’re standing where you should be when you should be *ie when you’re dancing with your girls, champs in hand and it’s cake cutting time*. Otherwise, do what we’re doing and have your DJ keep the timeline.
4. Pictures, flowers, and things that get lost in the shuffle – like ordering wedding favors, picking out a cake topper, and making sure you order 2 sets of garters (one for throwing and one for a keepsake). All of these things you’ll get to as you go down your list of To Do’s but some things that could help you stay within budget are to DIY some easy things, and to research the hell out of everything.
see if you can drop off vases and containers to your florist and just pay them to fill them with your floral arrangement choices. They’ll usually also credit you for this since they won’t need to use their own vessels
shop around for shoes, accessories, gifts, and your veil. I ordered my veil from Melinda Rose Design (who also specializes in headpieces!) and she’ll send you samples of the veils so you can color match with your wedding gown. Pretty brilliant and for a fraction of what A LOT of veils will cost you. I love the ‘try before you buy’ option that she offers
search sites like Luna Bazaar and Oriental Trading to order centerpieces, gift boxes, etc. They’re very reasonably priced and I guarantee whatever your shabby chic heart desires, they WILL have
delegate responsibilities to your bridal shower, see above photo 😀 (and here’s fun ways to ask your best girls to be a part of your big day). They’re there to help you and to make sure your most special day goes as smoothly and stress free as possible. No one wants to be around bridezilla! LOL So recruit the help where you can
if you’re planning your wedding in another city/ state/ country, it does help to create a mock table on your living room floor to get an idea of 1) how many people you want sitting at each table 2) how many pieces you’d like to have as your centerpiece 3) if you’re having favors and if you’ll place them at the table with your guests or not . . . Joe came home to see this (below photo) had taken over our living room and I was SERIOUS about picking out those damn centerpieces! haha
5. SET A BUDGET – okay okay this prolly should’ve been the #1 thing to do but honestly, we went over budget just in planning where we’re having our wedding so there’s that. Budgeting out your expenses does help to wrangle your ideas and keep priorities in order. If you go over on your dress than maybe order your shoes from DSW instead of Christian Louboutin 😉
At the end of the day, it’s going to be THE most special day and the love your life will be standing beside you, in the presence of everyone you love. None of those little details and stressors will matter, I promise. So just enjoy the magic of planning it all, take time to reassess what you want over what you need, and everything else is just decoration (thank you Pilar for that one!).
There are a ton of other tips and tricks I’d love to share with you but I’ll put them all together in another post, so stay tuned <3 I really hope these #JessBrideGuide posts and videos are helping you.
Have you used any of these resources already? Are there any other tips you have to share with us brides to be? Thank you in advance for the help!
Let me preface this with ‘my’ truths, ha, thought I should put that out there! So I recently wrote an article about the conscious choices we make in regards to what we do and don’t share publicly about our lives. Much of our audience has watched Joe and my relationship grow, but from a distance as we’ve been very private about it. Well on Christmas Eve Joe proposed to me in front of his entire family and I ugly cried through it y’all. It’s been 5 1/2 years and I think we’re finally ready to open up about our future plans, why we haven’t been so open until now, and what we think about sharing your life with the internet.
People are either all for marriage or all opposed, or so I’ve been hearing, and today I’ll explore both sides of it. Personally however, I was somewhere in the middle, yes leaning more towards the “if you’re a bird I’m a bird” mentality, I mean I’m a hopeful romantic. But I’m also the girl who’s been married before so I’ve got issues with marriage whether you see them or not. When I was 18 I married Corrine’s father. That didn’t last forever and I’m a “make it work no matter what, marriage is forever” kind of person, so that was ouchy. After the dust settled though, I knew that eventually I did want to get married again. If the right man came along and changed my mind about this forever business I’d do it, besides, I’m a hopeful romantic remember? Regardless of my feelings, I also didn’t want us to feel pressured into getting married just because it was the ‘next step to take’, even IF I’ve wanted to marry Joe since our 1st date! *more on that soon*
So many people get married for the wrong reasons. You reach a certain age or you date someone for a certain amount of time, and all the sudden everyone and their mother wants to know when are you finally going to tie the knot- especially your own mother. Don’t get me wrong, marriage can be AMAZING, but the pressure to do so is not so amazing.
Here’s the ‘opposed’ side of me. There are people who get married because they think they have to, it’s all that’s left to do… shit or get off the pot kind of thing, or the ‘oh crap we’re pregnant’ kind of deal. There are also those kinds of people who marry for opportunity and those situations are too heated for me to touch on in just one post, so I’ll save it. Then there’s those who do it because they want that huge wedding that is for everyone ELSE except for them. So firstly, shout outs to all my happy couples out there wed or not wed, and secondly, through all the BS and past mistakes I’ve made myself, I wanted to get married because I’d finally found my person, who is my life partner, best teammate, biggest cheerleader, and ride-or-die best friend when we have it all or nothing left. You sure do learn a lot when you get it wrong the first time. If you can’t be best friends with your partner, what do you have after the buzz from the wedding planning and honey mooning settles off?
With my first marriage I learned a lot about myself. I learned that I needed to grow up (a crap ton), that I was co-dependent (a crap ton), and that I had ZERO clue about who I was or what I wanted outside of this other person (#baggage). Mind you, I had a little human looking up to me for life coping skills, all the while- I myself was trying to learn how to navigate through life.
Here’s the ‘all for’ marriage side of me. Today looking to the future, I can confidently say (17 years later whew) that I love the person I’ve become, I love the man I’m with, and I love how healthy our relationship is. No relationship is perfect, but I think we work because I’m the hot head and he’s the calm and logical one. I’m the loud mouth and he’s there to shut me up when I irrationally roid out. I can get down with marrying that! Also, when he’s having a crap day I can be the rock for him too, and lastly, (and this is a big one) we’re not allowed to go crazy at the same time! Rock Paper Scissors for that if you have to! Life is too short to fight and it’s also too short to be with someone you really don’t like as a person.
So if I could share with you one thing about being in a relationship; not just being engaged or getting married, but being in a healthy relationship- it’s that the only person you can control is you. No one will ever change just because you want them to, and when you aren’t a whole person (we all have baggage don’t we now) you can’t expect someone else to fill that void. Marriage is a big deal and it should be the happiest of moments, not a forced or uncertain one. Lets be real though, I’ve been putting the pressure on Joe for like 5 years! When ya know ya just know!
This post somehow turned into a self-help for the emotionally-unavailable/ rant on love, but the point is that your relationship and your kind of love, is nobody else’s to judge or weigh in on. So you do you and don’t let marriage posts (like this- oh it’s about to get lovey) or FaceBook updates, make you feel like you aren’t a cool kid or hurried into doing something that you aren’t ready for. Also the point of this post was to share with you that we’re ready to share! The pressure of having a big wedding is big (I write these for me too), but we’re going to do it our way and I can’t wait to show you!
We’ll be answering questions on my YouTube channel about our wedding plans soon! I’ll also be creating posts for you here along the way in reference to my DIY happenings, or mishaps you be the judge, and posting my tips on how to stay sane because planning a wedding can be a BIT overwhelming! So until then, here are some photos we had taken while we were in Yosemite last weekend. Pre-engagement photos if you will, that we did spontaneously with our new friend Karl who just so happens to be an uber talented photographer! Thank you Karl for hiking up hills with us during the blizzard! Ha! You guys can check out his work here and give him a follow on Instagram!
Just before the moment pictured above, I fell into a 3 foot pile of snow and then jumped out of it to have that photo taken <3
Awww, just a couple of love birds in a snow storm. That is the metaphor for our life!
I hope you’ve enjoyed this rant of mine about love and my thoughts on marriage and unity. My heart is full and I feel content in my life for the first time in my life, and I’ve been here before, in this marriage place. So if you’re going through hell, keep on moving. *thank you dear country song for that one*
Boy oh boy is writing therapeutic!
SO, is marriage something you’re for or against? If you’re currently married, what’s one secret you can share with other couples? If you’re neutral on the subject, what do you think the hubbub is all about, this whole woohoo we’re getting marries stuff! I got all deep about the pressure of it all, so lets hear it!
I’ll see you later this week with my first wedding “Pinterest DIY-not” post! Oh Lordy, here we go! Wheeeee!!! PS if you’re a bird I’m a bird. Whew that was a wordy one.
