Corrine’s Side Of Things

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Do you have many memories as a child in regards to struggle?
Yes. Looking back, I realize we did struggle. However, at the time I was none the wiser. I reflect now and understand that my mom was a single parent working to make ends meet on her own. I had no concept of that at the time. I was still in elementary school, so I was oblivious to any sort of financial struggle. Yes, we did live in an apartment with minimal furniture for awhile (think, mattress on the floor and tv with no stand, lol) but in my mind, I was living it up. After all, I had a warm place to sleep, a full tummy and my beloved collection of cd’s and books, lol. My mom never gave me any indication that she was struggling. I got a $100 shopping spree at target for my birthday one year, which is super rad to receive at any age, really. I’d still be stoked if I got that today, like yes please?! But I think that’s just the kind of kid I was. I didn’t have much to compare my living situation to and I wasn’t giving too much thought to anything besides my latest crushes and friends at school. In retrospect I understand now.From your perspective how were those struggles defined and how do you think it affected your relationship with your mom?
I was so young, I didn’t know what to do besides go with the flow. We were both just coping and being glad that we weren’t homeless. It did draw us closer together because we spent a lot of our time together. I also think I sensed the stress my mom was under, not to the fullest extent obviously, but I understood. Being so young and placed in that situation is confusing, because I found myself attempting to overcompensate to ensure my mom’s happiness and be as little of a problem as possible for her. It’s a personality trait I’ve carried with me, but it’s not always a good thing. So I’m currently trying to unlearn it.What did you think about Joe when you first met him?
I was 12, I didn’t think much besides, “wow, what a nice guy.”

Do you think dynamics have changed since Joe and your mom got married? How so?
I think the dynamics have changed more so within their relationship as a couple and how they tackle issues together. I do however feel closer to Joe and he makes it a point to let me know that I can count on him for whatever, always. He lets me know I’m loved and supported and can go to him for anything. That’s something that has shifted after they got married, whereas before he was a little bit more distant, haha. I don’t blame him, it was probs v confusing.

Did you have any fears in your mom remarrying? Did you think you’d have less time with her?
No, not at all actually. The thought never even crossed my mind and I didn’t expect much to change. I never worried because their relationship never gave me a reason to think we’d spend less time together.

What’s some advice you’d give a single parent about parenting that you think you’ve learned that’s helped you and your mom stay close through life’s ups and downs?
I think being close with your parent(s) stems from your bond with them. My mom and I have always been close because that’s just who my mom is and how she taught me to be! She’s open minded, fearlessly accepting and always wants to hear about my perspectives, opinions and experiences in life, that goes for Joe too. I’m so lucky to have parents who allow me to express myself freely, and own my feelings and beliefs as an individual. I think one of the worst things you can do as a parent is to not let your kid(s) be genuinely themselves in their identity and interests.  I am who I am and accept myself and others because my mom never passed judgement onto me when I wanted to listen to different types of music or express an interest in conventionally strange topics. I think the best thing you can teach anyone whether you’re parenting or not is to practice compassion, with an openness to understand the world and the different experiences you can have within it. My mom never limited me to who I could be or the experiences I could have, and I am so grateful that she helped shape me into the dynamic person that I am today.

It makes me so happy to share answers to questions like this from Corrine. It’s so special to hear her side of things on some topics, thank you so much for sending in your questions and we look forward to doing this more often with you this year <3

What other things should we talk about, what you like to know? What are some questions you have for us individually or as a family? Please and thank you xoxo

 

 

 

 

 

This cutie baby. I was 16, she was just a few months old, and like a baby model!

Then And Now

by with One Comment motivation

FYI this is a book. Do you remember that movie from the 80’s where a group of friends reunite after many years and the entire film revolves around one pivotal summer? That’s today’s theme as I revisit my past- except it includes many pivotal seasons, with friends- except you’re my friends, some old and some new.

It feels pretty fitting today being International Women’s Day and me reliving moments that heavily revolve around women literally saving my life in certain moments. This is for them and for you.

Perhaps it’s a defense mechanism we use to protect ourselves from getting too close, but sometimes it’s just easier for us to put others in a box of expectations, like four walls full of assumptions that are usually far from the actual truth. At the end of the day we’re all more alike than we are different and we’re all moving through something. I think the more we share our stories the more we can help one another. Here’s some of mine

15 and pregnant

I was actually 15 when I got pregnant with Corrine and 16 when I had her. I lost all my friends, my HS gently asked me to leave and continue my studies from home, and I disappointed every single person I respected.

What I learned– no one gets to decide YOUR life but you. I fought to keep Corrine when my family wanted me not to have her (ps they LOVED her when she was born. Not the point). I fought to finish my HS education and graduated a year early with the Presidential Award and a scholarship. So when someone tells you that you can’t do something, tell them to watch you, and then strut your ass away like you’re on the brightest most biggest lit runway of life.

Leaving a love. 

Whether you’re ending a marriage, breaking up with your significant other, or fleeing in the middle of the night because your life depends on it, you’ve gotta do what you’ve gotta do. I left a marriage, I left a relationship, and each time it didn’t get easier. What helped is when friends (lookin’ at you Kiki) took us in and let us stay with them when we had no where to go and I didn’t want us to sleep in our car again.

What I learned- leave before it’s too late. Before you hate each other, before it becomes too toxic that you no longer respect one another enough to be decent. Before you throw wrenches or take a fist to the face, before you can’t leave. Ask for help, reach out to a friend or a family member, say something. Don’t stay because it’s comfortable, because you think you need them, because you don’t.

Child custody and being broke af

I fought for years for Corrine to be in my custody. I fought by myself and for myself. He had a lawyer, a really good one. I had no one and nothing but 2 jobs, a mattress on the floor, a broken tv, and a shit ton of debt. Did I mention I was running from the repo company for a year? And I did it because I had this little human looking up at me depending on me for coping skills and I swear you can do it too. When I had no love left for myself I still showed her love. Even when I felt like I had none to give and was worthy of none in return, she made me the woman I am today.

What I learned- I have to love myself for Corrine to ever know what love looks like or feels like. It’s so important the things we say to ourselves when no one is listening. I had to lean on women in my life for them to see the light in me (and show it to me) when I couldn’t find it in myself. Lean on friends, check in on the strong ones- they probably need it most, and I hope you love yourself more than anyone could ever love you.

Life today- meeting Joe and the happily ever after

Joe’s the first relationship I’ve ever been in where I feel safe. Safe to be myself, to feel my crazy, to be insecure, to be outrageous and uncontrollable. You’re worth someone that will only compliment your happiness and never control your life or determine your worth.

What I learned- how to get out of debt, how to set goals as a team, how to BE a team mate, how to stop trying to control everything. How to let go… oh ya, did I tell you I’m a type A control freak? In all seriousness, the worries I had as a single mom don’t hurt me anymore and to be honest I’m still coping with that reality. It’s another life not having to live like someone’s gonna take everything away from me if I don’t hold it tightly. Joe brings that security to our family, the feeling of grounding which is so important. I’m super independent but I can finally let that feeling like we could starve or be homeless go. We haven’t struggled like that in years but it’s still hard for me to realize that I’m not struggling any more, I mean I still struggle, but it’s different. We all struggle.

I know that was a lot but I really wanted to share some things and to also tell you that you’re not alone. Take from this BOOK of a post what you need. And if you need to hear that it’ll be okay I promise it will.

Tell me something pivotal in your life and what you learned. 

 

 

 

 

My morning routine and why you need one too!

by with No Comment familyfitnesslifestylemom lifemommy diariesmotivationreviews

This post was sponsored by Café Bustelo as part of an Influence Central campaign, however all opinions expressed here are my own.

I recently uploaded a video to my YouTube channel where I share with you some highs and lows I’ve experienced being a teen mom. I believe that so much of being a parent revolves around patience, understanding, and the desire to teach over the desire to punish. So much easier said than done when your emotions are high and your tolerance is low, I know. Though my Corriney is 19 years old, this mama is still very much a part of #TeamNoSleep!

Something I touch on in my video is the importance of setting aside time each day that is just for you. As a mom and a generally compassionate person, a lot of my time is spent making sure that everyone around me is okay. So much so that sometimes I forget that I need to do that for myself too, or I start to feel like the walls are closing in.

My morning routine, that’s just for me. I’m a coffee and carbs kind of morning person and I love waking up before anyone else does. There’s something really special about enjoying quiet, still mornings before the day begins. I’m up around 6am to doodle in my planner, prep for the gym, and set my intentions for the day over a cup of coffee and puppy snuggles. The pups love our morning routine just as much as I do because they get 100% of my attention before I run a muck for the day.


As a part of Hispanic Heritage Month, Café Bustelo® K-Cup® Pods launched at Target and I couldn’t wait to try them. They’re espresso style and just what I need to literally kick start my day- I mean I head to bootcamp before Joe leaves for work on most days. My favorite way to enjoy a cup each morning is cafe con leche style with warm milk, cinnamon, and sugar … oh and whipped cream!

During the week it’s a cup of cafe con leche with toast and eggs, something simple and fast that I can just run out the door with. On weekends when both Corrine and Joe are home, their favorite lately has been my huevos rancheros quinoa bowls! It’s spicy, protein packed, and delicious!



I didn’t know if my Target was going to have the Café Bustelo K Cup Pods but lucky for me they were easy to find- bright in color and displayed with the rest of the K Cup Pods. I’ve got to tell you, as a coffee connoisseur, I’m swooning over Café Bustelo’s bold flavor that I can still taste through the milk, sugar, and whipped cream I pair it with. It has this full bodied, rich flavor, that you can both smell and taste. I know that sounds a bit woo woo but once you’ve tried it you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about!

Do yourself a favor and adopt a morning routine that’s just for you, and however you take your coffee, try Café Bustelo! It’s available at Target in whole bean, ground, K-Cup Pods, instant, and brick, so pick some up and try it the way I have it each morning. You can get 10% off with the Target Cartwheel app, you know I love a great bargain!

I’ll link you to my video here, please Subscribe if you haven’t already, I have a whole series where I just chat mom life <3 You do you and get on a routine that’s realistic and manageable, and remember that mamas need a break sometimes too.

Do you have a morning routine? How do you carve out time each day just for you? 

 

 

 

 

HOW TO PARENT THE INTERNET

by with No Comment entertainmentmommy diariesparentingvideowedding planning

Whoa that’s a bit ambitious I know! But I like it! I have to say, with the ever latest and not-so-greatest entertainment buzz about the Biebers and Kardashians of the world, as a mom and fellow consumer of social media- I HATE everything about it. All the bub bub and mind numbing content that’s out there unfortunately I have to admit, that I get a kick out of sometimes! Guilty! Sometimes I just scroll through to scroll without thinking or drawing thoughts of anything in particular about … anything in particular. So I decided I would figure out how to parent the internet. Well try to anyway in that I’ll just talk about it. All of it. Social media, raising a teenage daughter in the age of photoshop and waist trainers, first time stories, and last time choices.

The series will live on my YouTube channel (pssst Subscribe if you haven’t already so you don’t miss out on any of my ramblings) and will kick to some content here for you on my blog. A place for me to detail some things in my life, lessons I’m teaching my daughter Corrine, and lessons I’m continuing to learn myself. I’ve kind of grown fond of the idea that I can alternate between trending entertainment news and my own real-life news that touches on things from my current wedding planning (or lack there of), to all the ‘things you’ll need to know about shaving your legs for the first time’. A conversation between the internets and I, youngster or fellow parent, about the woes and wins in life. And I’m SO DAMN EXCITED about this!

The first video in the series is here and it’s an introduction to my weird and awkward ways of bringing up things like sex and teen parenting, and how to talk about them in a normal-person type of way. Normal-person, to be used lightly.

To break up the awkwardness of each episode, whether it’s my eye roll at the Kardashians or my embarrassing story about stuffing my bra in HIGH SCHOOL, I will throw in my own relatable real life stories. And pictures.

So here are some baby pictures of my Corriney to start off the series- a chat about teen parenting and how babies are an amazing gift … when you’re ready for them <333

Corrine and I when she was only a few months old, and 16 year old Chola me! Oh that lipliner!

Corrine is 2 and I’m 18, the day I got my very first tattoo! One that my mom picked out and paid for … a rose with a butterfly on it of course. Hey, it was the 90’s!

A side by side of Corrine when she was a baby and when she was 16. Can we just hit reset?

Ahh my baby at her High School graduation! She was 17 … and I … well we won’t talk about that.

This doll face angel princess is 18 here, this is from her 18th birthday! A day of French food, old movies, and good food with people we love!

A collage of the good ol’ days! Elmo is still a thing!

Corrine was 2 and I was 18. I also wanted to be J-Lo here, and also, I still do!

And us today. My rock, my heart and soul, holding me up when I’m not holding her up. We lean most of the time <3 This was taken at Gracias Madre on my 35th birthday. Man, I feel so much more comfortable in my own skin and vibrant today then I ever did at 25 dammit! Something I’ll also talk about in this series.

So please share with me some topics you’d like to see me cover! Some days Corrine or Joe (or both) will be joining me for the conversation so give us some things to chat about with you!

PREGNANT AT 16

by with 10 Comments familyinspirationmommy diariesparenting

I was 16 and Pregnant. I have always been very guarded with what I share with the world and what I keep private for our little family but its time to tell some of my story. It’s a fine line to walk when you’re an online personality and you’re so open about your life. People almost expect you to divulge information that you wouldn’t otherwise share unless you knew them personally, but that just goes to show how much we openly share with our audiences. So I can’t be mad about it.

I’ve found though, that the things I like to share with people, help me to like those things too. Things that I dislike very much and that are hard to talk about like abusive relationships, toxic people, and what it was like being a teen mom. Not that being a teen  mom was something I disliked, but it was something that was really hard for me, it still is.

Corrine only a few months old here, and me- I'm just a chola in a rocking chair lol
Corrine only a few months old here, and me- I’m just a chola in a rocking chair lol

Some things you probably already know are that I’m a single mom, and that I was a teen mom. I had my daughter Corrine when I was 16 years old and she’s 18 now. She just started college this month, and last year she graduated from high school AND started her first job in the ‘real working world’. That was a lot for this mama bear over here to manage. Having my lil baby cub all out in the world being a responsible human and not being under my watchful and protective eye 24-7-365 is really hard.

Corrine and I are very close. We’re best friends, we grew up together, and I don’t know my life without her, I was 16. This isn’t me being dramatic like, ‘oh my baby is moving to another country woe is me’, but it is me sharing my anxiety over her moving out of the house. Even if that time isn’t in the near future. Like, what is my life without her *okay, THAT is me being dramatic*.

It’s crazy for me to reflect on her childhood because I was so young myself, I mean, how did they let me leave the hospital with that little baby?! It feels like a big huge blur to me. At that time I wasn’t doing it all on my own though, I had my family, I had her father’s family, and he and I were ok back then. Things change and we are where we are now. Perhaps one day I will talk about those things and what my life was like back then, but today I’ll talk about where I’m at today.

When I say that I don’t know what it’s like to be without Corrine I’m talking in daily life, in our day to day, routine life. Because in a way, we did grow up together … I’ve spent the last 18 years with her and it was far before I was even 18 myself. It was like an older sister raising a younger sister. We are so similar yet so different, but she amazes me every day. She sits on my lap at brunches, we hold hands in the street, she’s still my baby. Well now my baby is in college, yes a local one, but not for long. She wants to transfer to a University which won’t be any where near Los Angeles. *takes a moment to process that* So for me, I think to myself (and aloud, lets be real), “ok I can totally move to wherever she goes!” But how unrealistic is that?!

Corrine's HS graduation in June 2015
Corrine’s HS graduation in June 2015

Joe is incredible and he’s been so amazing, from day ONE. He met us when she was 12 and he’s really stepped in to be that positive, loving, father figure in her life. Oh, and he would totally pick up and move with me, we’re both nomads like that. But I can’t follow my child all around the world … at least I’m sure she wouldn’t want me to. I don’t want to become that over-bearing-stalker-status mom because no one likes the over-bearing-stalker-status mom.

November 3, 2015- Corrine's 18th birthday
November 3, 2015- Corrine’s 18th birthday

So therein lies my problem- I’m an overly attached parent who feels pretty freaking lonely at the thought of her daughter moving away. So what’s a girl to do? Well, I have to remember that just because I’m a mom doesn’t mean that that’s the only hat I wear. Though, it IS my most favorite hat and I’m really good at wearing the hat!!! *breathing* I have to remember that I’m a whole other person with hobbies and an identity all on my own completely separate from the ‘mom label’. Yes I’m a mom but I’m also Jess.

Jess is adventurous, loves to travel, and is getting married this year! *why am I referring to myself in the 3rd person, see I’m losing it already* I think I will get back to that part of myself this year, back to being creative on a different level, back to traveling a bit more, and back to being me without attaching myself to everything Corrine does. She needs space to grow and make her own mistakes, ugh can’t even believe I just said that.

So to all my parents out there, it isn’t healthy to identify ourselves only as parents and it isn’t healthy to just stalk our children. It’s a grey area for me about the stalking part though, not gonna lie, I’m obsessed with the kid! But as much as I’d like to be THAT mom, I won’t be that mom. I will however, be keeping busy doing other things. So keep busy! I have a wedding to plan this year, but bet your butt I’ll be stalking her every step of the way- dropping in to make her bed and cook her dinner! We also have to remember that it’s also a difficult transition for them too.

Our babies are forever our babies, and it’s ok to hold on to that. I know I will!

So tell me, if you’re a parent, are you going through this? Are your babies younger but this is something you think about? If you are going through this, help me out and give me some new hobbies to explore! If you aren’t a parent but your parents are going through this kind of thing, what as parents can we do to make the transition an easier one for you? And for us 😉 

My baby when she was 2 or 3 and again at 16
My baby when she was 2 or 3 and again at 16

 

I was 18 here and Corrine was 2. I got my first tattoo this day!
I was 18 here and Corrine was 2. I got my first tattoo this day!

 

This is us today, going on mother/daughter dates <3
This is us today, going on mother/daughter dates <3

Thank you for reading this post, it’s nice to open up about things that people assume you’re navigating just fine with on your own. I’m open to your suggestions so type away, and if you have a little one at home, hug them extra! PS I talk like she’s moving out tomorrow, but it is something that we discuss all of the time- her moving out and where she’ll go. So I know it’s just me freaking out, I’m prone to freak outs. I still have some time to baby her and make her breakfast in the mornings, and I still have time to be the crazy yet, “I’m a cool mom” mom. 

Here’s a video Corrine and I did in September and we’ll be recording a “How to survive college” video together soon! So stay tuned for that! I will be less overbearing with each passing post I promise!

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