2020 Gift Guides Start Here – Self Care

by with No Comment Gift Guidegift ideasholidaysmental healthwellness

Cancel your plans, I’ve got you!

Today marks the ‘almost’ end of this month and an ‘almost’ close to this wild year that has been 2020. Thanksgiving was yesterday, I hope you enjoyed your holiday however you spent it and I want to wish you a very happy National Native American Heritage Day.

So while people are sifting through online sales and email alerts for even more sales, I guess it’s time I begin sharing my gift guides for this holiday season. So cancel your plans (tbh did we really have any), I’ve got you!

This year I wanted to focus on shopping small and supporting local and I’d love for you to help me do that. Our friends who have small owned restaurants and businesses need us more now than ever and I’m so happy to share with you my close friends and brands that I love. You’ll see me highlight these kinds of offerings over the next few weeks leading into the new year.

a big part of self care is checking in with our mental health

As I speak to my personal experience with each of these brands you’ll notice that I take pause for myself because mental health is everything. Health is wealth and in my opinion mental health is equally as important as your heart and physical health.

A gift for yourself, a gift for a friend or a loved one (ahem this is perfect for moms, sisters, SIL, daughters, dad, brothers, all of ’em!), you just can’t go wrong gifting wellness.

  • OSEA Malibu – family owned and operated, this company is truly an entire family passion. Their ingredients are all organic, plant based, and their USDA certified organic seaweed (which is present in almost all of their formulations) is sourced directly from a family-operated cooperative on the shores of Patagonia. So much of their line has lived on my vanity for the past five years, it’s a spa in my very own bathroom! And today you get a FREE FULL SIZED (yes I’m screaming) Hyaluronic Sea Serum with all purchases of $135+
  • Trestique – female founded, Trestique knows how to make you look and feel your best! Their motto encompasses the “simple beauty routine” and sustainability has been woven into their product line. Goals! They’re a cruelty-free brand featuring creamy formulas and high performance built-in tools, so you get luxury products at a reasonable price. The Essential Mix featured above is less than $80 and the Mini 5 is less than $49. This year especially, my beauty routine has been a grounding sense of normalcy and this is the most perfect 5-minute makeup routine
  • The Flower Pot LA aka TFP – you’ve seen TFP all over my life, I just cannot rave enough about this company. I have a series called #FlowerPotFridays on my Instagram where I highlight TFP’s offerings and how I use them in my daily life for relief and recovery … they are my mood shifters and energy lifters! The Flower Pot was founded by my dear friend Rebecca, who personally curates these plant powered offerings for you and has aesthetics on LOCK … peep my IG for her beautifully branded gift boxes. You can always count on TFP products to be natural, non-toxic, ethically sourced, and sustainably produced. For your wellness gifts use the CODE: FLOWERPOTFRIDAYS at checkout and receive 15% off your cart total
  • the Daughter Of The Land Bath Soak, the Queen Idia candle from Liha Beauty, and the Bloom Farms Recovery Tincture featured above are all a part of my daily ritual to unwind, recover, and keep my lil spirit still
  • KNC Beauty – retinol infused eye masks… ummm they had me at retinol, yes please! In 20 minutes your eyes will be revived and bonus… they’re all natural! My favorite thing to do is to keep these babies in the refrigerator and to pop them on in the morning while I get ready. It takes my eyes from kinda wonky to totally wide eyed. So like, self care but make it fashunnnn <3
  • Mason Grey LA – I LIVE in this robe! I mean, Lacey probably wonders if I ever get around to washing it because I wear it so often, but who is really putting on pants these days? And it is the coziest, most chicest robe evaaaaar

This is one of my favorite things to do- share with you products I love, companies I support, and highlight the small businesses that could really use our business as we close out this year. Let’s support one another, let’s grant ourselves grace, and let’s find time for self care. This holiday season I hope you too find time to be still, take care of yourself, and give yourself the gift of wellness.

From me and mine, to you and yours – Happy Holidays. (I can say that now, it’s offish)

So tell me, how did you spend yesterday? I love hearing your stories <3

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Tips and Ideas for Being More Active in the House

by with No Comment entertainmentfitnesshealthinspirationmental healthtips and trickswellness

In light of coronavirus, millions of people across the world are working from home. While working from home may have countless benefits, it also poses some challenges. While working from home, you perform most of the tasks while sitting in one spot either from your laptop or smartphone. Staying in one place for extended periods can lead to a sedentary and unhealthy lifestyle.

So, to ensure that you stay active while indoors, here are some essential tips to help you stay fit.

Take a Walk Daily

Make it a part of your routine and a necessity to walk for at least fifteen minutes daily. Just walk around your neighborhood, either before you start working or after work. Walking enhances the pumping of blood and also boosts metabolism. Experts also say that regular walks boost your moods and help in weight management.

Use a Fitness Application to Exercise

Just like other endeavors, keeping track of your fitness program when having to stay indoors all the time can be difficult. But today there are so many options online hat will help you stay on track. On the app store there are many fitness apps to choose from, one of them being the 30 Day Fitness Challenge that has a variety of different workouts you can do, like this slim waist workout at home for example. A combination of working out regularly and healthy eating, will help you stay on top of your fitness game.

Involve Yourself in Cleaning Activities

Cleaning your house is a win-win situation. Going up and downstairs, lifting laundry, and being on the feet from time to time is a good way of exercising. Also, having a clean house improves your mental health too.

Use Household Tools as Weights

You can improvise the household items if you’re used to going to the gym regularly. For example, you can use a pack of rice as weights or even water bottles. Besides, you can run up and down the stairs for a couple of times, and try to make the run as much intensity as possible. This will get you sweating in a matter of minutes.

Dance

Put on some music and make your living room a dance hall. Dancing is a good way of keeping yourself active while indoors, as well a great mood-improving activity. Dance is proven to be a useful type of workout that burns as many excess calories as bike riding, walking, or even swimming. But the intensity of dance, the effort you integrate, and length of the dance determines the calories you burn.

Walk around during Calls

If you are not on a call that needs you to use a webcam or laptop, consider standing and strolling around while on the call. This is undoubtedly an incredible way of performing some stretches and getting some extra steps in.

Include Online Yoga Classes

Yoga isn’t only essential for your overall physical health; it is also a fantastic way of boosting your general wellness. The reason for this is that yoga lowers stress and improves your emotional health and sleep patterns. Besides, it reduces neck pain, low-back pain, and manages depressive and anxiety symptoms.

These are just some ideas for staying active during a time we are encouraged to leave our homes less as possible. Do you have any useful suggestions to add to this list? What have you been doing to stay active? I’d love to know!

 

xoxo- Jess

Let’s Be Clear

by with No Comment fitnessmental healthmommy diariespersonalrantswellness

I used to resent being referred to as an “influencer”. Bleh- you want to group me in with people who create these unrealistic lifestyles and never show the real life that takes place behind all of their picture perfect social media squares? No thanks! But then I thought about it, leaders influence people and we’re all leaders in our way right? P.S. don’t come for my throat, I’m not saying all influencers do this, I’m referring to the people out there who are real ‘influencer buttholes’, you know the ones.

Because I realized that we can choose what we influence and how, and we can choose to not influence at all, even. But to have the “capacity to have an effect on the character, development, or behavior of someone”… wow, well that seems like a big responsibility to me. And honestly, some days I choose not to go too deep and just post about my burrito and some days I choose to go there. Like today. If what we’ve been through in life and how we’ve coped can help even ONE person, wouldn’t we want to influence in that way?

you’re not f*cking it all up and whatever you’re doing, you’re doing just great

I would’ve really loved to have that when Corrine was little. For someone tell me that I’m not f*ucking it all up, that we’d make it out a-okay, that my best was in fact enough, and that I birthed a baby and stretch marks ARE sexy! Holy hell can you imagine what that would’ve done for my confidence as a single mother and my self esteem as a person?

This was wayyy before Instagram , Facebook, and all the other social media platforms that exist today ever existed. So if I had a hard time adulting before all this (still do sometimes tbh) then I know that what our kids and these impressionable young minds (adult minds too c’mon now) are feeling and how it can weigh heavily on their mental health. I have an almost 22 year old daughter and to teach her to think outside of social media is a pain in the ass, and also a lesson I had to learn. PS I still have to remind myself of that, I have my days, trust.

Comparison is the thief of joy- Theodore Roosevelt

Every image… every.single.image. *claps hands, you know she means business* that is published in magazines, on billboards, etc. is retouched. I already knew that but a few of my friends have highlighted a page on Instagram called @beauty.false and others, where Real Life vs Instagram is showcased side by side. You guysssss, it’s pretty crazy what we see on social media versus real life… and hey I get it, I love a good filter! But I use VSCO to enhance the brightness not the booty. Let’s be clear, I love bright whites and shadows and light flares and bumping up saturation…but I’m not going to bump up my booty just to fit into these ‘new norms’ I’ve been seeing. Have you seen this? Where tiny women make their waists even tinier and where they make their asses look like a science experiment? To each their own, this is not a dig, but if you’re out there with an audience and you have a voice on any platform, and you’re not sharing your truths (should you choose to be an ‘influencer’, don’t @ me), then what the fuck are you doing?

it took me 0.5 seconds to cinch my waist and fill out my hip dips

I mean, I’m a fitness coach who loves food, drinks tequila, hulks out at the gym, and has hip dips, stretch marks, and cellulite. GASP! Now, will I post what I feel is a ‘bad’ photo of myself to Instagram? Probs not, but I will be honest about how bomb lighting, a flex, or a filter will make me feel like a GD supermodel. Oh man, I’ll go into the pressures of the industry on another day, but this topic really fires me up. I personally unfollow, delete, mute, block, whatever I gotta do to not have the BS of IG creepin’ on my inner dialogue. If I’m not interested in someone’s actual life or don’t talk to them IRL than I don’t feel bad doing that and you shouldn’t either. They’re the images and messages that will fill our personal space on the daily. I need to follow more cute animal accounts! Don’t we all <3

I’d like to hear your thoughts on this, I kind of went on a tangent (no surprise) so please tell me how you feel about social media. How do you feel about influencers, are you one? Do you feel the pressure to be authentic or inauthentic? Do you think about the content you see in your feed or do you mindlessly scroll for entertainment? I’m guilty of consuming IG in both ways…hello slime vids at 3am <3

this photo got so much praise which I’m grateful for because I do LOVE my body, but also: lighting, filter, flex baby <3

 

 

 

 

 

 

Suck It Up Buttercup – A Lesson In Saving Your Damn Self

by with One Comment familyfitnesslifestylemental healthmom lifemotivationparenting

I grew up with three dads. It’s a beautiful story and I love all my dads, they each play a different role in my life. The daddio who raised me was my Drill Sergeant dad. He raised us on tough love and discipline, we were like little soldiers with chores and rules, and we lived on military bases for most of my life- you get the picture.

I didn’t know this until I was much older, but there were a lot of lessons there in the things he’d say to us. LOL the story of everyone’s childhood eh? So I looked up the literal definition of, “suck it up” because it was something I’d hear on the daily. It read: Accept a hardship

Suck it up Miss Priss he’d say

My dad used to tell my siblings and I to suck it up and I was referred to as, ‘Miss Priss’. I was girly and I loved raiding my mom’s makeup bag and wearing her jewelry. I’d prance around in her stilettos before I even knew how to walk properly in them, and my sister and I would have fashion shows- we’d even dress up my brother! I thought I was a Princess. Some things never change 😉

I’m the oldest of three and I’d think to myself, ‘why do I have to be tough like my brother and why do I have to be in charge of everyone?’. I’d get into a lot of trouble if my brother or sister got into trouble so we looked out for one another, we were the three best friends that anyone’s ever had. And I’ve taken that phrase and have said it out loud to my self, I’ve said it to my daughter, I’ve even said it to my puppers when they look at their kibble like ‘wtf’. I was taught to be tough so I thought everyone else should be too. It’s the way I parented.

to accept something is to give it consent

I don’t necessarily consent to anything in life that has sharpened my edges. But I’ve learned from all of them, I’ve let some of that shit go (literally balled those moments up in my fist and dropped em out my window, and onto the freeway), and moved on from anything that didn’t grow me. I used to resent it when I was told to suck it up, it made me feel like I wasn’t given permission to hurt or feel. But it wasn’t that at all, I just wasn’t given permission to whine about it. “Why waste your energy on something out of your control?”… ummm couldn’t my dad have just said that? I was and I am allowed to hurt, to feel, and to be emotional. I just won’t whine about it… for long any way.

We don’t have to accept anything. But we can use things that would usually bid resistance and instead apply them to be the driving force behind what keeps us moving. Think of it like this: we are in control . . . of nothing. How we react is everything and if we can just take all the bullshit, all the wrenches that get thrown in our (very overly controlled) plans, the interactions with mean people and all the suck-ass situations in life, and if we can just “suck it up” for a moment- I’ve realized that there’s more that’ll keep you going than there are things that’ll knock you down baby.

I’m grateful for never being saved

When no one comes to save you, you become fully aware that you don’t need anyone to save you. You understand clearly that you can save your gahtdamn self. And I did. And you will. And you have. Read that again <3

Can you think of moments in your life where you actually saved your own ass from something and thought, “f*ck, I’ve totally got this.”? Click through to see the sweetest best friends that anyone’s ever had <3

 

For My Misfits – Welcome to One Month Mission!

by with No Comment adventurecommunityfitnesshealthlifestylemental healthmotivationpersonalsportswellness

This past Saturday wrapped up my first ever Reset Camp. I had the honor of being head coach alongside my friend and fitness Jesus Lacey Stone. If you follow me on Instagram you’ve seen me post a bunch about Lacey, The Wall, these Comeback Camps, and my excitement over coaching. So I wanted to take a moment to tell you why you’ve seen this flux in fitness posts and what it means to me to be a coach. 

this is not dejavu, this is a separate post on why I love coaching you

Lacey’s camps are so special because it’s more than just a bootcamp, these camps are about so much more than just the workouts. I really do believe that you can get a good workout anywhere, it’s all about how much effort you put into it or if you’re just phoning that session in. I’ve gotten the same results from hot yoga as I have from a bootcamp style workout because I hulk out no matter what I do … granted, I need to learn to chill TF out, but it really comes down to how present you are in that room right?

… we’re resetting our energy, not just refocusing on our goals

During my Reset camp I really tried to convey the message that we were resetting our energy, not just refocusing on our goals. Though it may be easier to remember why you started, I’ve realized that it’s more difficult for us to reset our energy because we’re so used to giving it away to everyone else. Our time together is more about: refill our energy, and then refocus and reset. That’s what we do in these camps. As time goes on and we evolve as people we change, so it’s completely normal that our goals do too. Here are some excerpts from my emails that I sent out to our squad last week and I want you to read them so that if you need to hear it, it’s here. Or maybe you know someone else who needs to hear it. Where ever you’re at and what ever your goal, it’s our mission as a team to help you get there. Here’s a little love letter from me to you about my Reset camp, what we did, and what you can expect during One Month Mission (1MM).

These camps aren’t for the faint of heart, they’re not easy, and there’s nothing soft or gentle about them

As a coach, I’ve observed your courage and how you move with intensity. These camps aren’t for the faint of heart, they’re not easy, and there’s nothing soft or gentle about them. I mean, these workouts have roughed us up and here we are still standing! That’s how we do. 

Lacey asked me what my favorite part of camp was and there were SO many memorable moments. And I’ll tell you, RESET was intense. Yesterday alone, you switched sides four times, you went TEN timed rounds, and you pushed more weight on the benches than in the entire camp combined. I left little room for you to catch your breath and onto the next move we went, performing combinations I’d never thrown at you before. Throughout all the madness, you showed no weakness or hesitation in your bodies…even after the 799 sprints. I want you to remember that the next time in life you want to tap TF out—you did all that! Memorable. 

These workouts are absolutely designed to make you stronger physically, challenge your stamina, and push you past your limits. But it is more about pushing so hard that you’re forced to tap into the place you pull from when you physically have nothing left to give, that place deep within our bellies where we’re confronted with our inner dialogue. That is when one of two things happens: You either doubt your abilities and let your minds wander, or you do what you did this week and step into your power. That’s true grit.

To paraphrase something from the film Game Changers, “It’s not about how strong you are or how much power you have, it’s what you do with that strength and power.” You sharpened your edges this Reset, you made one another better, and you spread that energy around like peanut buttah. Lacey and I were literally speechless after class and that says a lot about two people who always have something to say.

Something I’ve asked of you is to be willing to give your all, to be coachable, and to trust the process … we’re going to enter that room with purpose and we’ll leave it all on the floor. Get good sleep tonight, because…“There’s just one thing: we never, ever do nothing nice and easy, we always do it nice and rough.” – Tina Turner, Proud Mary. I am so proud of YOU.

that you’ll only find here at #TeamLSF

Those were just some pieces from our team emails that I wrote to our campers that I wanted to share with you because I do believe there is something we do in that room together that you can’t just recreate. Like I said, you can get a good workout anywhere. There are some FAN-FUGGEN-TASTIC trainers/coaches/teachers out there. But to have a team of badass, strong, warrior-women by your side doing it with you and 3 coaches to guide you, support you, and protect you along the way … that you’ll only find here at #TeamLSF. I do hope I get the chance to help coach you this month during 1MM, click here to claim your spot if you’re local to Los Angeles and if you’d like to join us virtually, you can do that HERE! You can’t escape me, I’m all over the VP and so is Kristin so go rep the virtual squad baby! Hop on the forums and say hello! <333

That was a lot of gushing on how special I believe our team to be, but honestly I think anyone would say that about a group of people they have infinite love for. I felt so sad driving away from the studio on our last day, like I truly wanted to write one last email and then spend every day with everyone haha But I hold that squad near to my heart and now on to 1MM we go! So LET’S GO!

Where will I see you? In person for camp and workouts? On the virtual platform??? Let’s just spend every day together! 

 

“Let’s push through the rough stuff and eat the good stuff”- Coach Jess

Put Yourself On A TIME OUT

by with No Comment beautyhealthinspirationlifestylemental healthpersonalwellness

This past week I’ve fully immersed myself into my work and a secret passion project of mine that I can’t wait to share with you. Side note: it’s weird when other people say ‘secret project’ and it’s still weird when I say it, but I promise it’s a fun one! And since I don’t see this slowing down for another week or two three, I thought I’d share with you what is keeping me sane throughout the process of sitting alone for hours, in a dimly lit room, with resources and research. Also, this is a plea for snacks.

Here’s the deal, I go go go and admittedly I am a WORKAHOLIC. Okay, fine, I said it. I love my work though, so it’s nice to be in the zone, like really in it. It’s also nice to come up for air from time to time and though I don’t break enough throughout the day, there’s one thing I’m like, really good at. Self care and putting myself on a time out.

I’ve even been really quiet on social media if you’ve noticed … if you haven’t noticed than maybe you’ve been really quiet too. Feels good right?! We can go a lil lot crazy when you work from home, secluded, with little interactions from other humans.

It’s completely normal to fully lose your shit

No matter where we are in life or in our careers, we’re go go go , we grind grind grind, we hustle hustle hustle. How could we not lose our shit right? *I’m feeling a bit preachy right now but as I currently write to you I’m in a top knot, on my couch, in my pj’s, at 4:28pm, having had only a pb&jelly sammich all day, and going going going… hence I’m feeling a bit preachy

So here’s a few things I love to do to put myself on a time out. It’s hard to do sometimes because you get so focused, but do it anyway. Even if it’s just ten minutes, or at the end of your day, hit pause and TIME OUT

 

get it out- write it out, scream it out, whatever you’ve gotta do to let the thoughts out, let em out. As human we like to play things on a loop until we can’t make sense of them as they are so then, oh wow, plot twist, our brain has formulated it’s own new ending to that story/conversation/moment/interaction

dance it out- ugh I love doing this so much. Do you watch my stories? Have you seen me break out into a mid day dance party? This is why! Our thoughts, moods, feelings all turn into energy and that energy can either be stagnant or it can be BIG and we can use it to shift our day.

SHIFT THAT SHIT

treat yo self- time out for real for some self care pampering time!- I’m all about that ‘me time’ pampering time! I love doing skin care masks, ya know, the ones that make you look crazy *insert The Office epi where Dwight is trying to perform CPR on the dummy* I love taking baths, having a few glasses of wine (who ever in life, do you know, STOPS after A glass of wine? no one that’s who), adding in some bubbles, turning on some tunes, and throwing in some relaxing bath bombs.

be still- gross I hate this one but it’s the most EFFECTIVE one! Being still, taking it slowly, doing some yoga, meditating, reading a damn book, going for a quite hike, all the things that settle your mind and calm your spirit. Do it. I promise you’ll get after it so much more focused afterwards.

and if you still lose your shit, that’s cool too. We’re human, it’s normal

What are some things you do to put yourself on a time out? I need to do more of this, more frequently, send your recs. Oh and the snacks too, this is still a public plea for those 😉

 

 

 

Instagram – Hiding Likes, Algorithm Changes, and Cyberbullying

by with 3 Comments lifestylemental healthmotivationrantsTechtechnologywellness

Wowza, now that’s a mouth full but here goes! Prepare yourselves for my word vomit. I’m not holding back.

So as you know, every day it seems like Instagram and other social platforms are changing their algorithms and policies. Or maybe you don’t know and therefore don’t care because it doesn’t affect you? *high five to you* But since there’s a lot of anxiety and frustration surrounding all the changes within the community, today I want to talk about:

  1. if and how it could affect creators (all users really, but specifically to those brand deal negotiators)
  2. what you can really do to keep up with the fackking algorithms and changes (other than chuck your laptop out the window)
  3. cyber bullying/ competition/ mob mentality/ ego- how I really feel. Here’s a preview: Instagram can suck it.

Fine, I’ll admit that came out harsh. Not wrong, because that’s how I actually feel but let me tell you why something as little as an app on a phone can really rile me up. I’ll start here.

1) does it affect its users? Okay, so if your money maker is a platform like Instagram where you team up with brands on the reg and they pay you to create content for a campaign (i.e. my Palmers hair care campaign) sure, maybe. But that depends on you and what you’re willing to do. Or not do rather. The algorithm is ever changing because their motives are to keep users on the app longer. Like all damn day. Like, don’t have a life and if you do, live it ON Instagram. They no longer feature the chronological feeds because they want to give you the content that you’ve proven to interact with the most.

It’s not you, it’s them. But it’s because of you that it’s them.

Hence, everyone and their mother made those “turn on my notifications” posts. See, the more you interact with someone’s content (watch stories, like, comment, blah blah) the more IG will prioritize that content for you. Not bad if you really think about it, they’re simply trying to curate content for you in the same way YouTube killed their Home page. But kinda sucks ass for creators because we’re constantly keeping up with ‘trends’, reaching for ‘low hanging fruit’… and all the other bad jargon that comes from it. It’s like this: there are people who base-line interact with your content and people who don’t interact at all because they’re just lurking or scrolling mindlessly through their feeds (I actually scroll mindlessly quite often. It’s not an app I want to open up and think about ya know). Well those interactions aren’t technically ‘interactions’ and now they don’t count towards your algorithm see? Because it’s not a human being making the decisions it’s all code baby.

ABANDON YOUR INSTAGRAM PODS

This is a whole other article I need to write. There’s a lot you may be doing to actually hurt you on IG, but we’ll talk about that later. My point in saying that is, there are things you can do to help move with the changes.

2) What can I do to keep up with all the changes? What I really meant to say was, “there are things you can do to try and beat the system”, but the system is a machine and you are not Johnny Five. Looping back around to the ‘things you may or may not be willing to do’ bit. If you’ve noticed a dip in all around interactions, views, Likes yada yada- here are the things you can do to basically be in everyone’s faces all of the time, which makes the machine go, “oh yea, we like this person, they’re really using every feature. Lets push out their content more”.

  • really use every feature. a) IG Live- at least once a week, even for a few minutes. Some people go Live every day. I am not those people. But I applaud their dedication b) story story story- on the daily. Oh you’ve been seeing people story more? Like a dozen times? Ya, they either love talking to the camera or they are trying to use every feature more c) In-feed post at least once a day. Post videos in feed at least once a week. Use the carousel feature in-feed as much as you can without going bonkers d) IGTV- at least once a week z) yes I said z because damn, anything else they want us to do? So z- use the GIFs, the Swipe Up feature, link all the things, use stickers…just go NUTS in your stories making them so fucking interactive that no one even knows what the hell you’re talking about anymore

Oh she mad.

Nah, she’s just done trying to dance when they tell me to dance. I’m venting here but I’d by lying if I said I didn’t do any of these things. I actually do ALL of them. It’s my job (I chose this, no regrets but sheesh can ya give the girl a breather) to overshare. I actually choose what I want to share very carefully because it’s a very vulnerable thing to do and also, that’s a lot of pressure for anyone I think. At the end of the day, my ‘job’ heavily relies on engagement and on how frequently I post to my blog, YouTube, and social media platforms. Sleep? I hardly know her.

If you have an audience on any platform, it’s my personal belief that you have a public responsibility to not fuck people up in the head

I told you, I’m not holding back. I say: HIDE THE LIKES. BUHBYEEE!!! Cool, let me focus on quality over quantity, let me breathe and not worry about if a brand will pass on my pitch just because it’s not getting enough ‘engagement’. I just think there’s a lot of ‘influencers’ who use their influence for BS and share a life that is unattainable to 99% of the real world. People talk about things without realizing that it actually influences young minds. I’ve been guilty of it myself, trust. The highlight reel is anything but REAL. I found myself pivoting my own conversations with my audience to try and do as much as I can- well as much as you can do really, on an application, without sounding cheesy or preachy. <— that is v hard to draw the line on. I actually like the idea of hiding likes because it

  • relieves people of the pressure-  “how many likes did I get”. That fake scale of self worth should be burned with fire.
  • no competition & comparison- or the reduction of, at least. Sadly a lot of this will exist whether or not the app actually exists and that’s a sad reality. The mob mentality on any public forum is REAL. And the egos and insecurities that drive people to bully others and to personally seek them out to attack them is disgusting. I’ve experienced so much of this myself and it’s got to stop. I don’t know who or how or when but can it stop already? Kids are dying, kids are killing themselves and others, and it’s sickening. Does this not haunt you? PS I’m talking specifically about our youth here. Yes adults too, but young impressionable minds are young and impressionable.
  • brands will measure worth more accurately and fairly- it will not be quantitive. But quality will actually matter when considering who hires who and P.S. brands will still have access to metrics and we’ll all still be obligated to disclose partnerships in accordance with FTC regulations. So this should not affect backend number stuff
  • less invasive and more truthful- people will Like the things they truly like and interact with things they truly want to interact with. And honestly, they’re probably already doing that. So often, the Likes equate to validation and clout. I understand that IG’s choice to hide Likes is probably less about wanting to do good in the world, and more about marketing tactics and making more money BUT I’d like to think that this change would be a good thing.

At the end of the day we can’t let this stuff affect us. We either go with the flow or riot right? LOL There’s a lot of things to give your energy to in your life. That’s the real stuff that affects us. All we can really do with the internet part of it, is to keep creating the things we want to share with the world + be our most authentic selves as much we can + stay sane through this crazy time in life. I mean, most of us only had to worry about someone at school passing us a note by accident, not posting about us to THE WORLD.

I know that was a lot. I just really wanted to talk about this since it’s been all over my emails, my work life, and the community. I’d really like to know what you think. And HEY, if you just wanna post about your life and not make it a drama with ‘morals of the story’ and ‘lessons we learned today’, that’s absolutely okay! But if that’s something you’re doing… does any of this make you go hmmmmm?

Are you affected? Do you care or nah? Have you seen the changes and what do you think of all this social media madness? P.S. thank you for always supporting me. Reading my posts, interacting with me on the Gram, all the things- it all shows your love and support so thank you so much, I see you <3